Emotional Breakdown Two, Electric Bugaloo
So yesterday afternoon was not good.
I was burnt out and tired and I have had A LOT of solo baby time lately and buying a house is mega super uber stressful. Everyone and their mailman has an opinion for me and I alternate between thinking “Oh dear god, please let them not agree to move the water heater so we can get out now and buy a bigger house” and “Dear god if they won’t agree to move the water heater we are so so so effed and I won’t get my house and it’s the only house we can afford in a semi decent neighborhood oh gawd where will we live.”
I thought I was handling the stress really well, but then the numbers on the scale starting going up and all of a sudden it got much hotter and I was forced to admit that I have only one pair of shorts that fit me. And I couldn’t find those. And I went and looked at Target this weekend for more shorts and there was NOTHING. Just nothing. It was like a bargain hunting maniac in my exact size had swept through and left nothing but crumbs and elastic waisted gauchos in her wake.
So then yesterday it got hot and Neurotically Clean Co Worker was coming over to my dirty ass house for after work beers and I had just spent 24 hours working on Etsy and I had gotten essentially nowhere and all the stuff left to pack in the house was too high for me to reach and I could not find my one effing pair of shorts. I have stuff packed up in my closet to take with me if my best friend ever goes into labor and I have stuff packed up in the garage that doesn’t fit me and I have duffel bags full of stuff to take to the new house and I started out methodically poking through them and then I am not sure what happened but I was filled with this hot prickly rage and I just started to whip clothes out of bags and drawers and bins and suitcases until both bedrooms were filled with a huge mound of clothes and Eli was sliding around on all of them and I was crying and shaking and red hot mad and then I emailed Mr. E a raging email because his phone was out of batteries again and then he called me and I told him I was experiencing a Britney style break with reality and he LAUGHED at me and told me to buy some shorts.
The good news is that I went through all the clothes in the giant heap and I got rid of a bunch of them and as I was going through everything I had the realization that because of my childhood when I never got any new clothes, when I was chronically uncool and sported pink elastic waist corduroys, I am a bit of a clothes hoarder. I don’t feel right unless I have drawers jammed full of t shirts and my closets are bursting, but the sad truth is that I wear about a sixteenth of that stuff and most of it doesn’t fit or doesn’t look right or just doesn’t do it for me. And so yesterday I got rid of anything and everything that doesn’t make me feel GREAT when I wear it. Out it went. And I won’t lie - I do still have a bin of great size 4 and size 6 clothes that I love, and I’m not ready to get rid of that yet and if I am ever ready to work that hard again to be that size again I am going to have a kick ass wardrobe ready to go.
BUt in the meantime, I need some shorts. So this morning I got online and due to my extreme awesomeness and the power of the internet coupon I managed to get four pairs of underpants, five t shirts, 4 tank tops, and 3 pairs of shorts for a squidge over 200 bucks. Not bad, not bad at all.
Don’t get me wrong, I would much rather have been buying a purse or this kick ass skirt I just found at Anthropologie but if you knew how many skirts I have compared to the amount of skirts I wear you would agree, I just don’t need skirts. For some reason I have been putting off buying regular old clothes that actually fit me for quite some time and now it’s done and when I return half this stuff I am so buying that anthropologie skirt, you guys, it’s just super gorgeous.
Now. Does anyone have a J Crew coupon code? I could use a few more t shirts.
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