Bland and Blanderer

Yesterday morning I woke up with heart burn so severe that it made me throw up three times. Three separate times. I really really really hate throwing up, so at this point I’m pretty desperate to do whatever I have to do to make this a one time thing.

The main thing you can do to prevent pregnancy related heart burn is to change your diet. And I totally tried to sleep on four pillows last night so my head would be elevated and all that and it’s just not happening. What this means is that the short list of things I can actually eat that don’t make me feel sick OR throw up just got even shorter. No tea, no spicy food, no caffeine, no tomatoes, no chocolate, no carbonated anything, no acidic juice, no pineapple, no greasy food, nothing fried. I already couldn’t eat much dairy without dire results, eggs make me sick, and I need to have protein at every meal. It’s really looking like turkey on plain bagels for the next two months, and it sucks.

I suppose if nothing else it will keep me from gaining too much weight in the final stretch, but it feels like a particularly harsh insult that this comes at a time when I could finally eat a few more things, and at Christmas time. I have elaborate meals planned for Christmas and New Year’s and Mr. E’s birthday and none of them have “bland” as their central theme. Of course I’ve already done all the grocery shopping for these meals, and even though I know it’s probably a bad idea, I won’t lie, I might just have to find out the hard way that homemade chex party mix and acid reflux don’t mix. I can’t help it – I have never made Chex Party Mix from scratch and I am inordinately excited to do it, and I have three giant boxes of Chex in my cupboard, so screw it, I’m making it. In other news, I am a loser, and I love salt.

In case you were wondering:

Christmas Morning breakfast: cinnamon rolls and virgin mimosas
Alternate Princess Nebraska Non Barf Version: plain oatmeal,Maalox

Christmas Dinner: gingered prawns, grilled italian beef served sliced over rocket, rosemary garlic olive oil pototoes, and brownies, menu stolen directly from Nigella Feasts
Alternate Princess Nebraska Non Barf Version: plain oatmeal,Maalox

Mr E’s Birthday breakfast: Potatoes, sausage, eggs, toast
Alternate Princess Nebraska Non Barf Version: plain oatmeal,Maalox

Mr. E’s birthday dinner: Newsom’s Country Ham (this is his christmas present from my mom, and I am not lying when I say he has not shut up about his country ham for months now. He REALLY likes ham. To be fair, this is some GOOD ham.), biscuits, cucumber salad, cheesy potatoes, ambrosia salad, and apple tart for birthday cake.
Alternate Princess Nebraska Non Barf Version: plain oatmeal,Maalox

New Year’s Eve Dinner: roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, sauteed whole peas, and strawberries, pound cake, and whipped cream for dessert. Completely non seasonal, completely don’t care.
Alternate Princess Nebraska Non Barf Version: plain oatmeal,Maalox

And now I’m off to feast on some oatmeal and maalox, and find a recipe for White Pizza.

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2 Responses

  1. Ouch! My little one just turned 1 last week but I endured the horrible heartburn problem like you describe. I woke up one night choking to death on vomit so I know how horrible it can be. Nothing I ate or didn’t eat affected my suffering so I just limited how much I ate. I couldn’t eat much at all so I especially watched it at night so when I laid down it didn’t try to come back up. I lived on tums ultra! Boy, I don’t miss those days. Don’t you need SOMETHING other than oatmeal?

  2. This being your first pregnancy you will probably immediately say NO, but I took a prescription med (Zantac I think) during my second pregnancy because I had acid reflux so horribly. It worked wonders.

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