Confidential to Mr. E: If your overly complicated Martha Stewart pain in the ass birthday cake is not finished by the time you get home…

it’s because of this blog post you harrassed me to write.

In other news, I’m thinking I might have to bite the bullet and buy some maternity overalls. Even though I’ll be honest with you, I’m really not an overalls type of girl. First of all, they remind me of something one or all of the cast members of 90210 would wear. Can’t you just see David Silver walking down the halls of Beverly High with only one of his shoulder straps fastened? Also, I may still be suffereing residual childhood overall trauma, because as a little kid I could never get them unfastened when I had to go to the bathroom and even when I did get someone to unfasten them for me, one strap invariably ended up dipped in the toilet. And then Mr. E came along and he has such an aversion to women sporting overalls that he begged me never to wear them, and I didn’t even own any overalls at the time so I was more than happy to oblige.

Overalls are actually only one of two things Mr. E begged me never to wear, the other one is that weird combo piece of clothing where it’s a skirt in the front and shorts in the back. I am not as deeply disburbed by this fashion oddity as he is, but I do find it sort of weird and also, doesn’t it seem like it might be bulky? And besides, what’s really the point? Are you that worried that someone might see your underwear? I mean, maybe I’m weird, but I just don’t care that much if someone sees my skivvies. Perhaps it’s because I wore a catholic school girl uniform skirt for 13 years and we wore them so short (rolled up at least two times after you left the house) that after awhile you just didn’t care who saw what. It was kind of liberating now that I think about.

But back to the overalls. Mr. E and his opinions on female fashion trends not withstanding, none of my damn pants will stay up anymore. The myth of maternity jeans has been proven here, I’ll say that. They just don’t really work that well in practise. Either they are so tight that the elastic waistband hurts me and gives me this weird squeezed chub stomach look which by the way is super flattering, as you might imagine, or they are semi comfy and they fall down when I walk. So I think it’s either cave in and buy some maternity overalls, or maybe we could all start a fashion movement to bring back suspenders. Knowing my luck, they’ll be sweeping the nation NEXT winter. So yeah. Suspenders, anyone? Anyone?

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