In Vain

All I do is walk around all day and swear. Mr. E looks at me and shakes h is head and says “You’ve got to stop wandering around yelling ‘Jesus Christ,” but it’s all I can think of to say.
Every time someone comes into this house to fix something it’s just an invitation for [...]

An Endless Supply

It’s always a good sign when the plumber lets out a long, low “Oh. My. God.” from behind your house.  And damn, this plumbing shiznit is so freaking noisy. Which ordinarily wouldn’t be a big deal but I did not dope my teething toddler to the gills with Tylenol and Motrin and Jif just so [...]

P.O.O.P. has a nice ring to it

The house is coming together, sort of, very slowly, duvet covers not withstanding, but also I would like to say that when someone arranges to buy a credenza from you off Craigslist and they agree that, yes, they for certain want to buy it  and they will give you the $55 you want for it [...]

Until the End of Time

Everything waits for something else.
You will have clothes that fit when you lose weight.  You will figure out how to feel good about yourself when you lose twenty pounds.  You will feel ready to have another baby when the first one stops being so much work.  You will be nicer to your husband when you [...]

Friday Reader Poll

1. Should I buy navy blue shorts?  The shorts I like from American Eagle are only available in navy, besides the color I have already (tan).  I don’t know how I feel about navy shorts though.  What would I wear them with?
2. No matter what I do, Eli won’t go to sleep at any kind [...]

Living Streak Free Since 1993

Oh people. People people people.  I can’t be the only hopelessly anal type A uber controlling person you know.  I will so NOT be showing you pictures of my house while it is filled with boxes and rolled up rugs and old burrito containers and dogs and cats and other assorted derbis.  Oh hells no.
I’ll [...]

Dip

The internet has returned, and I have a raging case of writer’s block. Of freaking course.
Nothing I have to say seems to be of any general interest AT ALL. Would you like to hear about how I can’t find a duvet cover I like? Somehow I didn’t think so.
Do you ever just feel [...]

From A Land With No Internet

It is day seven without the internet. Five days to go. A few times a day I check to see if anyone has decided to unlock their network and let me on, but so far, no joy. I’d walk to Starbucks and bask in the exhilarating scent of wifi and frappucinos for a few hours, [...]

Live Blogging Escrow From the Ramada Inn : Otherwise Known As More Effing Pie

They just called. 6 pm. Mobile notary.
At Baker’s Fricking Square.

Live Blogging Escrow From the Ramada Inn; Otherwise Known As I Can’t Believe I Just Ate More Pie

yes, yes, we are still here.  Still trapped in the Ramada Inn.
However, rumor has it that our mortgage agent farmed out some shit and paid down some shit and did his mortgage whatever hoo ha and even though we NEVER HEARD BACK FROM THE ORIGINAL LENDER some  other lender approved us in like two minutes.  [...]