Stop Time

I don’t know what to say about all the loss out there in the blog world this week.

It seems inappropriate to post another list of all the things I’d like to buy and put in my living room.

Talking about how much someone else losing their son or daughter makes me appreciate my own seems unbearably self centered.  Looking for a bright side seems devastatingly uncool.

Words fail me.

So I think I’ll just say that it feels as though a thousand times this week – more than ever before – as I’ve caught a glimpse of a stray curl or a cheek turned to the sun or great big baby boy smile – there’s a stop to my heart and a moment where it hits me all over again, what it would mean to lose a child, and it seems as though the sun should stop shining and the world should stop moving and the clocks should still but since none of this happens all I can do is to remember that these moments are sometimes all we have, and to sit and read Goodnight Moon to my beautiful boy one more time.

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6 Responses

  1. You’re right, it feels as though time should stop. How can I eat dinner or pay bills or drive to work when families have been ripped apart. It hardly seems right. I just hope they find peace one day soon or just one day at all.

  2. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. How insane it is to also have a record of it. To be happily plotzing along as a mom one day, posting about it, maybe making a silly joke about whiny kids, and then….

    it’s devastating. Truly.

  3. Yes, you have summed up my feelings perfectly. I don’t know these women, but my heart bleeds for them and I don’t know how or why I am spared these terrible, terrible events in my own life. I lose my breath when I look at my beautiful girls and hug them close and try and ignore all the day to day worries of finances, housekeeping and what the hell is this daily grind all about any way!?!?!!?

    Parenting small children is a beautiful, fleeting and precious gift and we should never, ever let that thought fall into the cracks of our busy lives.

  4. It’s been a terrible week on that front. I haven’t tried to say anything, because I’m not a mother and can’t even pretend to imagine.

  5. you said it, sister.

  6. Well said.

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