I’m wondering if this gluten free thing can be compared to the five stages of grief, or if it’s just that it’s fall or if it’s that I’m pregnant or what.
Whatever the reason though, I am here to tell you that for the first time, I am well and truly sick of being gluten free. I really really hate it. You could say I’m in the anger stage.
My favorite thing in the whole world is a cold crusty doughy bagel with cream cheese. I ate one every single day when I was pregnant with Eli, and I want my bagel, dammit! I want to be able to go to the Pita Pit and get a chicken pita and a smoothie and I don’t want to have to order a salad. I am tired of pancakes and pizza with a weird funky after taste to them. I want to eat fudgy slices of chocolate cake with thick chocolate frosting and I want to be able to walk into Trader Joe’s and throw 14 premade dinners in my cart and to not have to think twice about it. I don’t want to spend an hour and half making dinner or an hour and half feeling guilty because my husband had to make dinner AGAIN while I sit in bed moaning about why in god’s name it’s called MORNING sickness. I want to pick pumpkins and eat a cinnamon apple cider donut along side everyone else. I want to be able to eat a box Kraft Mac and Cheese for lunch if that’s what I want to eat. I want to be able to call up Pizza Hut and half an hour later have a Veggie Supreme pizza arrive at my door. I want to be able to go eat chinese food again, any chinese food, and I am not talking about the sub par gluten free menu at PF Chang’s, I am talking about crab ran goon and dumplings and greasy noodles and fried orange chicken. I want to go to breakfast without having to smile wanly over a bowl of fruit while everyone else piles into pancakes and waffles and french toast. I want to have big, soft, pillowy rolls with my Thanksgiving dinner, and I want to eat a hot dog ON A BUN at the ballpark and a pretzel dipped in mustard at the mall. I sit down to one of seventeen new fall soups we’ve tried this fall and every single time I think “WHERE IS MY CRUSTY BAGUETTE THIS JUST ISN’T THE SAME WITHOUT A CRUSTY BAGUETTE.” I want to eat roast beef sandwiches at Panera until I make myself sick and yes, sometimes, I just want to have a beer with my corn chips and salsa. (not while I’m pregnant, obvs, geez.) I want to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on soft fluffy wheat bread, not flat, heavy, damp toe breaking gluten free bread.
Even more infuriating are the prices. I am tired of paying $4 a bag for pasta, and $17 a bag for flour. I am sick of ordering every kind of gluten free oatmeal on the market only to have to throw all of it out when it makes me sick, over and over again. I am tired of checking my receipt only to discover that I’ve just paid nine dollars for a loaf of gluten free bread.
I used to think that I LOVED being forced by my body to eat nothing but FRESH MANGOES! and CELERY!. I said that if and when they invent the gluten antibody pill I wouldn’t take it. Now I laugh hysterically at that notion. Please note, I’ll be the first in line, reaching for that pill in one hand and a bagel in the other.
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Is it possible that now that you are pregnant, the needs of your body are changing? I have heard of people that are lactose intolerant being able to drink milk while they are pregnant with no issues…maybe something like this is happening with you?
Feel free to internet smack me, but babies pull all kinds of weird juju from inside our bellies…I just don’t think it’s impossible is all.
Also: *HUG*
I so commiserate! One of the things I miss most as a vegan (aside from cottage cheese- don’t even get me started on my desperately unfulfilled love of cottage cheese) is just being able to order a crappy cheese pizza at a no-name hole in the wall or a gross chain. Screw gourmet home-made pizza, I want gross delivery pizza, dammit!
Well, I think I put on a couple pounds just reading about all that bready goodness. I’d say that giving up all those favorite things would be NO FUN, and I’m sorry.
This just sound like it sucks – and I feel bad for you. Especially since bread is the one thing I take when my stomach is upset – I’m not sure how I would cope otherwise. And yes, the prices are ridculous! I too have stomach issues and I toyed with the idea that they might be related to gluten – I was going to experiment to see if there was any effect, but it was too expensive to even experiment – especially if it didn’t work.
Ok so I read this post BEFORE the prego announcement one and I was all, “Wait, wha? Why is she talking about being gluten free and pregnant? Huh?” And then BAM I read the other post.
Girl, I am so excited for you. And I’m praying for you and for Junebug. I know how hard these first weeks and months are. So scary, and I can’t even imagine having to navigate a special diet what with morning sickness and all the other crap. I’m so sorry! I will NOT eat ANY bagels in your honor you poor girl.
But I’m really really happy you’re pregnant! So exciting! A Blathering baby!! Squee!
Sounds like hell.
I’m so sorry.
Here’s hoping that this IS a 5 stages thing, and that acceptance is right around the corner. Along with intense cravings for veggies and fruits and all things gluten-free. (Okay, maybe that’s reaching – but it’s POSSIBLE!)
I”m sending you virtual crusty baguette’s right now. *hugs*
That is one of the most amazing tributes to the love of food that I have ever read.
I’m so sorry you can’t indulge.
First let me say CONGRATS! Hadn’t checked the ole google reader in a while! Yay, yay.
And you have my utmost sympathy. My friend is allergic to soy AND has Crohns disease, and I am constantly filled with pity for her re: all the yummy stuff she has to avoid. Sure, I bet she’s way healthier than I am thanks to all that nutritious food, but stil…
I very much hope for you that your body starts craving stuff you CAN have!
A BLATHERING BABY!?!?! OMG!!!!
I need to get working on Blathering Baby’s snarky wardrobe, STAT. I mean, the onesie possibilities are endless.
I’m catching up late too – congratulations of the most intense and heart-bursting sort are in order! I am *so* excited for you and your family.
Wait. This means you’re not going to host next year, doesn’t it? DAMMIT.
Nothing is more unfair than having your diet restricted when you are pregnant. How can one possibly think of eating anything but what you aren’t supposed to eat when you have morning sickness. Not that it makes you feel any better but I can relate….the less than 10 grams of fat/day diet I had to endure during pregnancy sucked *ss. I guess the silver lining is that maybe your extreme sickness last time was due to gluten and now this time you hopefully–crossing my fingers for you–won’t be as sick???? On the otherhand, maybe your body is craving gluten for a reason—give it a whirl and see what happens. Crab rangoons can only make you feel better right now. MMM, now I am hungry.
Congrats on the exciting news of baby #2. I am friends with Miss Amy, or rather Just A Titch, in real life, and have seen your blog featured on her page. All that to say, it’s been a treat reading your page!
I am so sorry about this. I cannot believe how difficult it must be – I think you’re going straight to heaven for living a life without gluten.
Oh shoot, Elizabeth. That just really sums up exactly how I know I would feel. You’ve been so strong up to this point and I know it totally sucks. It has too. To have this limiting thing…this restriction. It’s so unfair. Especially for someone who has a love affair with delicious food.