My Philosophy On Life (as explained by Axl Rose)

“I realize I make exactly the same scream whether a great white is attacking me or there’s a piece of seaweed brushing my leg”

Why yes, I do have an intense and alarming fear of fish, thanks for asking. No, shockingly, I don’t think it’s super awesome when I’m swimming along in the ocean and I see a bunch of dolphins. And yes, I know they aren’t really fish. And for the love of gawd, don’t tell me once I get in there that I should shuffle my feet so I don’t get bit by a sting ray. Thanks – The Management

Movies I Don’t Like but Watch Anyway

First of all, Garden State? Not that great. I felt like I wanted to like it, because I like Zach Braff or however you spell it, and Natalie Portman is super cute and all, and I’ll be honest with you, I’m always a fan of two cute people getting it on in the movies. But the Portster super super super got on my nerves, and I felt like I was waiting for some plot development that never happened. I’d see if again, but only if I’d never seen it to begin with. As in, I’m glad I saw it, but I wouldn’t rent it again.

Other random movies I have seen during the last month otherwise known as the hell dimension that is living in Lincoln Nebraska with no TV whatsoever because you cannot afford cable. Jesus, has it ever sucked. And so, my life has become movies and tennis. Both of which you can do for free, or actually for $22 a month from netflix.

Mississippi Masala – Overall, quite good. For some reason, the DVD sound was weird, and it made it hard to get into the movie. Worth it just to check out a young Denzel, and an Indian wedding. Mr. E and I have a goal to get ourselves invited to an Indian wedding. But since none of our friends will get married, ever, dammit, it might be a while.

The Parent Trap (remake) – Placed on the Netflix queue as a request from Mr. E, it remains one of our favorites movies, ever. Ordinarily, I hate remakes, but this one just might beat out the original. Marred only by the fact that ms. lindsey lohan has gotten kind of scary lately. Also, I realized while watching it that I had never see the non tv version before. Sadly, I kind of like the version with the cuts. It seemed like all the rest of it was kind of pointless extras.

The Bridges of Madison County, 1995 – not nearly as good as I had remembered it from the first time I saw it, which is too bad, because Mr. E poo pooed this choice A LOT, and I was all set for him to eat his words, but no, it was pretty bad. I cried through the first five minutes, and the last five minutes, but laughed the whole rest of the time, pretty much every time clint was on screen, I was in hysterics.

In America, 2002 – This movie was really really good, but suffered from that thing I get where i get too nervous that something bad will happen to the people in the movie and I can’t really enjoy myself. That happened to me in Pieces of April too.

Once Upon a Time in Mexico, 2003 – I think I fell asleep in this, but Mr. E said it reminded him of how saucy Selma Hayek is.

Signs, 2002 – I wouldn’t watch this, because I have a deep loathing of M. Knight Whatever

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My Life Without Me, 2003 – I loved this, it was very melodramatic, right up my alley, and mark ruffalo was yummy.

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, 1966 – We didn’t make it for longer than five minutes into this, it was just too boring and weird.

The City of Lost Children, 1995 – I thought I would hate this, and I actually really liked it. It’s become one of my favorite movies I’ve seen in a long time, for the costumes alone.

13 Going on 30, 2004 – one of the least bad romantic comedies I’ve seen lately, but Jennifer Garner’s freakish muscles kind of scared me at times.

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, 2004 – Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad. Ick. And I think it’s taken from a book I really liked, which makes it all the worse. Could only have been worse had it starred Hillary Duff.

Also, I would just like to say, that according to Netflix, based on my last few movie selections, they’d like to recommend to me:

Bratz: The Video: Starrin’ & Stylin’

Uh, What the Hell? I might need to revise my taste in movies.

In Which I Resolve Not to Completely Waste the Next Year of My Life even I do live in Godforsaken Nebraska

So here’s where I resolve to actually do something with the coming year. The year I am forced to languish in Nebraska waiting for Mr. E to get his Post Doc and write some more fabu papers on lakes so we can move somewhere less sucky. First I’d like to say that I’ve already been here a month, and even though the year long countdown didn’t start until the first of September, I’ve already done a ton of shit. Unless you think about how I didn’t have a job this whole time. Then it really kind of seems sad that this is all I’ve done. Anyway, since we moved to this vile wasteland, I have:

-made 200 programs for my sister in law’s wedding

-lost another 8 pounds for a total of 20.

-made some kick ass chili lime pork salad

-talked to my best friend Sara for nine bazillion hours on the phone

-cultivated the best tan I’ve had since I was nine and lived in California for the summer

-developed a renewed appreciation for cocktail hour

-hauled my ass back to Michigan, slipped on a yellow bridesmaids dress, put a big smile on my face, and lived to tell the tale,

-gone on job interviews which I hate so much I want to puke

-remembered how to make a necklace out of old magazines

-played a crapload of tennis

-practised the wedding cake I’m making for Sara’s wedding

-made myself a denim skirt out an old pair of too big American Eagle jeans

-and started this here blog.

-Oh, and guilted Mr. E into getting me Netflix after which I watched ninety billion romantic comedies starring Julia Stiles.

-And I’ve boozed it up quite a bit.

So, that’s not too bad! Here’s my resolutions for the next year, so far:

-continue to entertain myself without TV for as long as humanly possible, or until missing the OC breaks my resolve

-get a job

-teach myself Photoshop

-get a library card

-find the laundromat

-get the cat neutered

-and get my drivers license.

More on that later.

For now, let’s just say that I would have a ton of pictures on here, but I can’t figure out the stupid picture adder thingee. I might have to make an emergency phone call to my brother.

E