101 in 1001 – or a list of things I couldn’t get done till I lived to be 101 and made one hundred and one billion dollars

101 in 1001

1. Get my hair colored by a really expensive really good salon.

2. Travel to Greece, Australia, Japan, Egypt, Israel, or India

3. Attend a home Portland Trailblazers game and sit ON THE FLOOR.

3. Grand Canyon – raft or canyoneer

4. Finish my novel and get it published

5. Get my drivers license.

6. Finish school.

7. Quit biting my nails

8. Own a Thomas Pink shirt and cufflinks.

9. Sell a purse on Ebay.

10. Lose another 20 pounds.

11. Take a class in something – painting, photography, pottery.

12. Spend a night in an expensive hotel room in a foreign city with Erik and never leave the room.

13. Go to Vegas.

14. Go to Mardi Gras.

15. Visit Portland and or move to the West Coast.

16. Lie in the sand on Hermosa beach and eat and Abba Zabba.

17. Visit the rollerskating museum in Lincoln, Nebraska.

18. Go to a rodeo.

19. Write a romance novel.

20. Email Morgan

21. See the Rucker Park tournament.

22. Buy pointy toed shoes and wear them.

23. Mount and frame prints of pics I’ve taken.

24. Wedding Photo Album.

25. Learn to silk screen.

26. Teach myself Photoshop.

27. Make a turducken

28. Dress like a grown up at least half the time

29. Sew myself a dress, with a zipper.

30. Go to estate sales

31. Make a rag rug

32. Kentucky Derby – no cheap seats for me!

33. Buy a flat iron

34. Get a treadmill and use it every day

35. Buy a decent mattress

36. Start a garden from seeds

37. Cross country ski Or snowshoe

38. Learn to wear a funky color eyeshadow (hi, Mac counter, please help me)

39. Recap a show for TWOP

40. Take Erik to the OPERA

41. Hang glide in the Maze

42. Post on my blog every day

43. Have SOMETHING published

44. Buy all new everyday dishes – good bye IKEA.

45. Get really good at subtly breaking v. v. sturdy IKEA dishes

46. Figure out that twangy song I hear all over town but don’t know the name of

47. Do something with my wedding dress

48. Buy a dress that’s not “me” (strapless, knee length, boring) and wear it out on the town

49. Wear winter white

50. Memorize poems

51. Drive down Highway 101 in a convertible playing “California” by Phantom Planet.

52. Drive Route 66

53. Take a road trip just to eat pie (see #53)

54. Annex Canexico

55. Make a frito pie on the radiator of my car (see #54)

56. Own a pick up truck (old), a Dodge Dart (old), and a Mercedes Station Wagon (old).

57. Get a hound dog. Name it Blue.

58. Live in a house with a wrap around porch, a balcony, AND a laundry chute.

59. Buy a super super super expensive bra.

60. Learn to do something to my car that the average person can’t do. Checking the oil doesn’t count, I know how to do that.

61. Learn how to lay bricks. Build something out of bricks.

62. Buy all the children’s books I remember from when I was a kid.

63. Visit Elvis’s birthplace

64. Throw a one food only party, for people who appreciate it.

65. Throw a grown up cocktail party with pitchers of martinis.

66. Volunteer

67. Learn to make better pie crust. Get Mrs. Pepper’s pie recipe.

68. Make a “craft” room.

69. Open my own store.

70. Figure out what color my parachute is.

71. Visit the desert.

72. Read the Lindbergh biography

73. Take a picture of that crazy church in Lincoln that looks like a bowling alley

74. Be more chill.

75. Plant a tree. On Arbor Day. In the state where Arbor Day was invented.

76. See the sandhill crane migration.

77. See an African Safari, although the other animals are just for show, so this number is really: See my spirit animal (the elephant) up close in the wild.

78. Have some kids, and name them something worthy of them. (see Frances, Charlotte, and James).

79. Walk over burning coals, just to see if it really doesn’t hurt.

80. Catch a delicious bass.

81. Have my wisdom teeth pulled.

82. Have some hair somewhere permanently lasered off.

83. Boob lift.

84. Buy the most expensive purse I can afford. At a store.

85. Go to the Smithsonian.

86. See an iceberg

87. See the pyramids

88. Protest something.

89. Wash my car, in front of my house, wearing cut offs.

90. Find a good sugar cookie recipe, and make it.

91. Make stickers

92. Start my own business

93. Program my cell phone

94. Buy a TIVO

95. Ice climb

96. Rock climb

97. Paint something HUGE – not like a house, like a large canvas.

98. Restore furniture.

99. Use my Palm Pilot

100. Read all the books on my Amazon wish list.

101. Do something for Mr. E that I don’t want to do.

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My Thanksgiving Freak Out/To Do List

1. Clean

2. Do Laundry including comforter that was clean until

Mr. E spilled beer on

it.

3. Make up guest beds

4. Buy fabric and make orange table runner because I clearly need another project right now

5. Buy and hollow out mini pumpkins for my obsessive MS centerpieces

6. Buy kosher salt for brine

7. Clean out and bleach container for brining turkey

8. Begin brining turkey at 10 am Wednesday morning

9. Go to grocery store for thanksgiving food, snack food, and any other

food like lunchmeat and cereal

10. Pick up rental equipment

11. Move old bookshelves onto sidewalk with “free” sign and hope to god someone takes them away. Free bookshelves anyone?

12. Stop at thrift store (not open till Tuesday) and find chair please god let us find a chair

13. Do dishes so we will have enough clean glasses for many many servings of gin

14. Buy trash cans, serving dish, and something elseI am forgetting at Target

15. Clean out “ebay room” so mom doesn’t figure out we are trying to sell everything she ever gave me

16. Find flowers and berries

17. Buy shampoo, etc at Walgreens

18. Wrap Xmas presents cleverly w/out having any Xmas wrap so can send home with parents

19. Find mold for orange juice ring for punch

20. Create Large wall decor, no idea what

21. Move red desk to downstairs hallway

22. Pay cell phone bill (damn Nebraska cell phone taxes)

23. Freak the fuck out because my parents want to

get here at 5 pm.

24. Discourage parents from arriving at 5 pm