I was all set to write this big post about how I’ve become such a better person lately through my karmic realizations about life and how I’ve let go of trying to control everyone else and blah blah blah wonderfulcakes but then this morning just GOT TO ME.
The good, followed by the bad:
G: I lost another two pounds, yeah!
B: My “new” pants are already too big, and have the worst ass gap in the back ever. I could fit a small ham in there. My thighs are totally out of proportion with my waist, so this always happens, but for some reason it annoys the shit out of me.
G: I did my three mile run last night, and it was totally doable, even though I had psyched myself out about it ahead of time way more than was necessary.
B: Because it was super late when I started, I ignored every cell phone call I got, and all the people I felt like I needed to talk to. It sucks even more because my step dad is in the hospital right now, and even though I talked to my mom about it, I should also have talked to him and my brother and my cousin and let everyone know how he was doing, but I just wasn’t up to it. I feel like I’ve been a very bad friend lately, not returning phone calls, not making an effort. I know I have to concentrate on ME for a change, because if I don’t make my running a priority, it doesn’t happen. But being selfish makes me feel really really guilty sometimes.
G: It’s FRIDAY!
B: We have NO money, and there aren’t any good movies out right now. Should be a fun weekend!
G: I am actually looking forward to my four mile run on Sunday. I definitely plan to eat some bacon afterwards.
B: It’s still hot as hell and humid here, which means I will have to get up at the ass crack on Sunday to do my four mile run, if I want to run outside, which I pretty much have to, because hi, even though Netflix says the DVD of Laguna Beach is close captioned, well, they LIED to me, people. LIED.
G: Everyone at work loved my cupcakes.
B: This caused me to let my anti social guard down and put me in a happy friendly mood, wherein I got suckered into agreeing to go to a work party. I know I am going to regret this decision.
G: My outfit is very French! At least in my mind.
B: My cute shoes are giving me terrible blisters and I have a mosquito bite on my FOREHEAD, and my skin is totally broken out. Crazy me, I always just assumed that eventually I’d stop having crappy skin, like, someday, and uh, hi, could that start NOW please? Jesus. I’m going to be the only 40 year old on earth with acne. Enough for Christ’s sake!
The just plain annoying:
What is with everyone on Ebay lately? I have had two auctions canceled in the past three days because the bidders fucked up somehow. How is that my problem? It’s a total pain in the ass for me. It just doesn’t seem like it should be that complicated. Don’t bid on something you don’t want! If you do bid on something, freaking pay for it! God.
I suspect that it is CRAZY of me to be annoyed by this, but the very loud breathing person who sits across from me at work is eating food out of her backpack, which is sitting on the floor, one tiny piece at a time, all sneaky like. Just plop your M and M’s down on your desk and eat them, for christ’s sake! Don’t fish them out of your bag one at a time, look around the room, and then stick it furtively in your mouth. No one cares WHAT you eating, for god’s sake. Unless it’s, like, 400 oxycontins or something, why are you TRYING TO HIDE YOUR FOOD? It’s driving me NUTS.
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