-Have lost 20 pounds in nine days!!! Diet of chocolate and constant breastfeeding appears to be magic diet. Must work on marketing strategy and become millionaire. When not breastfeeding.
-Have already compromised all previously held morals as only place to buy preemie clothes in town is at Walmart. (please note: Child is not preemie, only preemie sized).
-Am forced to threaten Mr. Baby daily with ice cube hands and a lifetime of girls clothes from Walmart as Mr. Baby would rather poop than eat. Clearly takes after father.
-Will retrieve non maternity clothes from garage later today. Expect imminent emotional breakdown.
-Am strangely intrigued by that movie The Queen after having watched last half hour of Academy Awards. Am clearly huge loser.
-Child’s umbilical cord just fell off. Is clearly genius.
-Thank you to all for congratulations and well wishes. Am feeling very very very lucky.
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