I’m Writing This As Fast As I Can

Finally got home last night, four days later than intended. MIL arrives today. Mr. E has to make up the four days of unpaid time that United just took off for him.  He’s working, I’m wondering how to get pine needles off the floor.

Christmas was fun, we were very very very very spoiled at my mom’s. I would complain about consumerism and over spending and waste and blah blah blah but now I have a new laptop and wireless internet and I just can’t complain about that.   My mom called me yesterday and started crying when she told me that she was picking up cheerios from all over the house and that she just missed us so much already.

The situation with my sister has gotten pretty shitty and can’t really be glossed over.  We’re all going to have to work together to find her somewhere else to go. Stay tuned because I think I’ll be blogging that process.  She’s the largest I’ve ever seen her and quite frankly it’s hard to see. So we need to figure out something there.

The security lines in Ohare were insane and every person that saw Eli was dying at how cute he is.  It’s weird when people tell you over and over what a cute baby you have. Thank you?  I didn’t really do anything, but thank you.

I got a weird pang when I saw the christmas trees in the high rise apartment buildings in Chicago.  A kind of wistful “what if?”  I think it’s just sometimes so tempting to imagine a life without pine needles in the carpet and dog poop in the yard and a baby who won’t nap and those lives don’t really exist for any one. My fantasies used to involve JFK Jr. and an account at Saks. Now they involve not having a dog. Le sigh.

I found this pair of awesome sunglasses at Macy’s when we took Eli to see Santa but I didn’t buy them because of saving money and all that boring shit and so then I changed my mind of course when I thought about how awesome they were and how my step father seemed intent on taking things out of my hands at the cash register and paying for them and so I went to the Macy’s in Chicago and asked where the sunglasses counter was and they looked at me like I was out of my mind. And that was the first time I felt like a real Californian.

That weird thing in my christmas gift picture is a ceramic sea urchin tea light holder, from Etsy. Love. SO weird and cool. The best kind of Christmas gift.

One of my new year’s resolutions is to be less boring and start wearing funky striped socks.  I know, I am so exciting it’s hard to believe.

Four extra days in Chicago could have been a nightmare but it really wasn’t.  It was nice. Except for the unpaid vacation part.   But my brother and I took my sister to Enchanted and even though it makes me seem like a goober, I really loved it, and even though I don’t technically believe in Our Lord and all that scene at some moment of singing dancing spectalularness I looked over at my sister half out of her chair with glee and my brother with his goofy long hair sitting next to me and my step sister laughing and I thought “someone up there gave me this moment”.

I hope you had some nice moments yourself.

Now I am going to go sweep up some more pine needles and say a silent prayer to the gods of long nap times and lost luggage.   MIL arrives tonight for a week, so probably not a lot of blogging will go on.


Just the Facts

Am trapped in Chicago. No idea why. 

May get out Friday.

Hate United Airlines.

Please don’t rob my house.

and Happy New Year!

My Favorite Christmas Present*

….taken with my other favorite Christmas present (my new lens).


*Mr. E and I had fake Christmas together before we leave for the great gift orgy of 2007  the emotional morass of doom  Christmas at my mom’s house.

You Can’t Spell Santa Without Satan


Christmas Is Just Busting Out All Over

I don’t miss snow on a regular basis – but it was amazingly beautiful when we went up the mountains to get our tree last weekend.  This was one of those times when I felt so lucky to live here.


Eli stayed nice and warm.


Luckily, I didn’t have to do too much manic obsessiveness over Christmas decorations this year because I’ve got so much stuff saved up from previous years manic obsessions.

Peppermint Garland


Cinnamon Stars


Vintage Ornaments


I love religious kitsch way more than I should but I try to confine my love to my collection of nativity scenes.  This is one of my favorites.


My little Christmas village and some vintage bottle brush trees I got this year from Etsy.   You’ll laugh at me but I have always wanted a Christmas village and two years ago I made this out of wedding favor boxes from the dollar store.  I adore it.



When you live with two boys, no one appreciates your wrapping skills, and that is why I am so happy my best friend just found out she is having a girl!  Plus her mom can’t gift wrap at all 🙂   Although she does have a way with the store bag the gift came in.   (Tags from Etsy)


Merry Christmas Everyone!


I Believe

I believe everyone should be invited.

I believe it’s always too early to quit.

I believe nothing in this life will ever smell as good as the top of my baby boy’s downy little head.

I believe some occasions call for whipped cream.

I believe spelling counts.

I believe, that in America,  I get to believe what I want, you get to believe what you want, and that’s the only way it really works. Once you try to tell me what I can and can’t believe, your own right to believe what you want is in jeopardy, through your own actions.

I believe you should never assume a plot when stupidity will explain the result.

I believe in bacon, cupcakes, and McDonald’s french fries.

I believe in a woman’s right to choose.

I believe if you are a picky eater you need to shut the hell up about it. Not liking food doesn’t make you cool.

I believe in the American League.

I believe some french women do get fat.

I believe you should always change your sheets on Sunday.

I believe cheap trash bags aren’t worth it.

I believe this could be our year.

I believe white christmas lights are for communists.

I believe in beautiful shoes.

I believe reading makes you smarter.

I believe most people don’t think of me as often as I think of them.

I believe in laughter.

I believe in darkness.

I believe in hot air balloons, mascara, and power ballads.

I believe there’s something a lot wrong with you if you don’t like chocolate.

But most of all, I believe in love.

(This post was inspired by this excellent post at She Likes Purple.  When I read this line:

About a block from home, I realized that I believedeeplyin the power of an ordinary life…

I got chills.  I still think of it often.)

Worst Mother of the Year Award, Round One

So this morning was fun.

Eli would not eat, sleep, would not stop crying, bit my nipple so hard I screamed involuntarily, smeared oatmeal all over me and him, hacked up baby food lasagna all over me and the floor and my just washed jacket, whined whined whined, struggled to get up, struggled to get back down, wasn’t even interested in the baby tylenol which normally he LOVES, smeared more food everywhere, and WOULD NOT WOULD NOT WOULD NOT WOULD NOT sleep.

I finally threw him in his crib in total desperation, and left him, screaming, intending to just take a shower and let him scream it out, but then when he started the coughing and gagging I knew I couldn’t leave him in there, at least that motherly instinct kicked in, so I picked him up and the coughing stopped and the crying continued. Put him back in his crib. More coughing and gagging.  Finally picked him up and swept his mouth for stray lasagna chunks, maybe? I didn’t think there would be much of anything, really, I didn’t see how there could be.

And there it was, a giant chunk of half chewed pear skin, which had been effectively cutting off his esophagus for god knows how long.

And indeed, seconds after I pulled out that pear skin, he fell asleep in his crib.

The worst part of it is that none of this behavior is typical Eli – he is not normally like this. He was trying to tell me that something was wrong, and I just didn’t listen.

I have never wished so much for him to learn to talk.  And I really hope I get better at this mom thing, maybe with more sleep or more experience or more kids?   And seriously, my nipple may never recover, but I kind of feel like maybe I deserve it.