So very weird. I just got a bunch of Fed Ex packages from my mom, but they weren’t delivered by a Fed Ex truck.  A random red car pulled up in front of my house and just started unloading packages on my front porch. I thought I was being letterbombed.

But no, no letterbombs today.  Just three boxes of stuff that was too large to bring home on the airplane after Christmas  – Eli’s rocking horse and teddy bear and a topographic map of the UP.  The teddy bear is named Sam in reference to his/her recent gender reassignment surgery – he/she came with a pink bow which my mom lopped off – baby boys can’t have girl bears, I guess.   Whatever.

I had no idea what was in third box but I figured clothes – the grandparents do enjoy the purchasing of tiny outfits for no reason whatsoever.  And sure enough – pajamas.  Um, hi,  two pairs of shark pajamas!

Oh hells no.  My phobias are not many, but the crazy runs deep in this one and let me assure you that nothing scares me more than fish and sharks.  I actually started to shake/think about crying when I opened them.  I have to assume these aren’t from my mom, because honestly, has the woman met me? Maybe she was just overcome with the need to buy fishy pajamas.  Anyway, I’ll be regifting the shark attack pajamas stat.

Do you have any crazy phobias I should hear about? Delurk and tell me about them, people!


10 Responses

  1. I’m 27 and still afraid of the dark.

    I’m also afraid of the phone. I hate it when it rings and I don’t know who is on the other end. And I hate calling people. This includes people that I know.

    And worms. Am terrified of worms.

  2. Clowns. And tornadoes.

    And if it helps any, I used to be pretty scared of sharks until I met Mike and he forced me to watch hours upon hours of Shark Week. And, in your lifetime, you’re more likely to be killed by a falling coconut than a shark. And out of like hundreds of shark species, only about 10 are aggressive and only about 3-4 of those aggressive sharks could really kill you with their bite.

    And remember, if you do happen upon an aggressive biting shark, poke them in the eye.

    But this is coming from the person who is scared of CLOWNS and, last I checked, you don’t hear many news reports of clown attacks. But if you did, OH HOLY HELL, I’d have a heart attack on the spot.

  3. Escalators. Up and down, but mostly down. Especially if they have those glass sides where you can see right off the edge. I will get on only if I have no children or packages, and even then I have to force myself, and I have to look straight ahead and not down or out.

    And clowns. Those are just freaky.

  4. Standing next to a skyscraper and looking up. My whole body starts to shake. When I was a kid it was much worse- I couldn’t even walk through a mall with high ceilings.

  5. I’m afraid of the bathrooms in movie theaters. Like, I will hold it for 3 hours to avoid using them.

  6. I think I just have general anxiety. I think I fear bacteria and viruses the most or maybe just medical misshaps. hard to say really.
    but sending someone with a shark phobia TWO pairs of pjs seems kind of cruel.

  7. Definitely the dark.

    And spiders.

    But those are pretty usual.

    I don’t like birds. In person. From afar they are ok.

  8. I’m afraid of raccoons (and opossums, too, to a lesser extent). I have dubbed this phobia “procyonophobia” after the Latin name for raccoons which is Procyon lotor.

  9. I can’t stand crunchy bugs. Once, a crunchy bug ran across my toe and literally had a hissy fit right there in the parking lot of my apartment complex. FYI – crunchy bugs include, roaches, beetles, june bugs, and grasshoppers (I don’t like things that jump on me unawares), and any other small scurrying creature with an exoskeleton. Ew, I’m getting the willies just thinking about it!!!!

  10. I am afraid of the dark. I’m afraid of mirrors in the dark.

    I’m terrified of fish. I’d probably go into convulsions if they took me into that tunnel o’ sharks at Seaworld. Panic attack wouldn’t even be the words to describe what fear that would put into me.

    I’m also afraid of any kind of depth as well as most bodies of water. I can get in them, but if I let my mind/imagination take over, I’m swimming for shore before you can say fish.

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