Gained and Lost

Eli is definitely gaining weight because he finally for the love of God stopped teething and we figured out that he WILL NOT be fed pureed baby food anymore but he will cram small bits of banana and goldfish and sausage in his gaping maw, albeit very slowly, and we also we figured out he just can’t do the sippy cup yet and we rigged up this magical bottle system involving rubber tubing and organic strawberry milk and although he is most likely steeped in Bisphenonal A from the lexan bottle of doom that the system requires, well, what can you do?  Weaning is on the verge, although let me tell you, it’s unpleasant and it involves cabbage and also when molecules of air dare to approach my boobs I scream and so I keep giving in and nursing the little bread snapper and so the process continues. Also, that strawberry milk is some delicious shit. Eli is no longer “I eat a lot of carrots” orange, but I expect him to turn bright pink any day now.

I have been having this internal debate for months now – the body acceptance half of my brain fights with the weight loss half of my brain. What I finally decided is that this must end. I am all for body acceptance but I am NOT  happy at this weight. I feel schlubby and I don’t even like how my body moves when I walk.  I can’t wear any of my clothes and I just don’t feel right.  It’s time to cut this shit out (and by shit I mean mainlining Thin Mints) and get serious. I don’t want to feel awkward and fat and t shirt adjusty all summer long, that is the worst time to be dealing with that shit.  I let this go and then two years from now I find myself stuck in my husbands sweatshirts all over again and that’s  not what I am choosing.  My question is, though, what is a good fast low pointy high protein low carb breakfast? If I eat a bowl of oatmeal, it makes me crave carbs all day. I am not a super big fan of eggs and I need something fast and easy.  Any one got any magical breakfast items to suggest?

Also, I really need some new bras and underpants, and  as far as I am concerned victoria can keep her secrets, if you know what I mean, so call me crazy but I was thinking of just ordering bras and underwear from Amazon and then some shorts from American Eagle (the only place in the world where the pants and shorts fit me) and maybe Old Navy which I will most certainly return and also why is it so hard for stores to make shorts that don’t make you look either like an old lady or a girl scout leader?  No harm in being either one, but I can’t help but notice that I am neither.  What do you think? Do only crazy people order bras from Amazon?  I feel like it could be great.

I lost my silver Tiffany circle necklace thing that I always always wear.  I am never without it and I had to take it off because Eli wouldn’t stop grinding his face into it on the plane.   I can’t remember if I put it back on or not after There Will Be Screaming and it’s not in any of the places I could have put it. Either it will turn up or it won’t, but it sucks, and it’s kind of weird that it’s lost because it’s this thing in Mr. E’s family – all the girls have them.  Lately I’ve really not been feeling a part of things and there has been…uh, some strain in the in law family unit, I guess you could say, and then it turns out my necklace has been gone at the same time.   Odd for loss to be so tangible.   Also, unit. Hee.

Also, my parents were here, but they have departed. We may now return to our regular scheduled programming. Also, they gave me many presents including baby cowboy boots of which the awesomeness can’t even be described and the Martha Stewart cast iron pot of total #1 all time gorgeousness and it’s almost too pretty to cook in. Almost.

I just love presents. Don’t you?


11 Responses

  1. I hear you on the hating-adjusting-shirts-so-you-can’t-see-my-pudges. Also, I eat Grape Nuts for breakfast and I really do feel quite full for a good few hours afterwards. But, most people I suggest that to give me a look of sheer disgust.

  2. I don’t know what to tell ya for breakfast. Oatmeal is the only low point thing I’ve consumed that lasts a good long while. If you make a discovery, please do tell. My body would probably appreciate something that’s not peanut butter crackers and a diet pepsi to start it’s morning.

    And that shirt adjusting thing? It sucks…but what sucks more is when you feel beautiful in something and then you catch a glimpse in the mirror and discover it’s not as pretty as you thought. Blah!

  3. My question is, though, what is a good fast low pointy high protein low carb breakfast?

    1/2 to 1 cup fat-free plain yogurt + 1/4 to 1/2 cup your fresh fruit of choice + 1 tablespoon ground flax meal = 2.5 to 3.5 points depending on quantities (I’m a 1/2 yogurt and 1/4 fruit kind of girl so my b-fast is 2.5 points every single day). I prefer Stonyfield Organic yogurt and fresh blueberries. If you can’t handle the fat-free-ness, the low fat yogurt is barely any more points than the fat-free. You got your dairy, you got your fruit, and the flax meal is fiber and protein AND omega-3 fatty acid all rolled into one. It’s very filling and keeps me happy until lunchtime.

    Also, unit. Hee.

    Whatever. I had a paper today whose author was Dong Wang. Beat that. I mean, uh…don’t beat that? Oh God, why can’t I stop talking about beating the Wang…

  4. My mom and I make these nut and seed bars and eat one for breakfast each morning with a glass of milk – lots of protein and nutrients and fills ya up good.

    Mix: 7 cups of assorted nuts and seeds (sunflower, sesame, pumpkin, almonds, peanuts, pecans, hazelnuts… whatever)

    Melt 1 cup honey until runny, mix with one tablespoon each rose water and lemon juice and mix it all into the nuts. Pat into pans and bake at 350 until starts to turn browner (15mins-1/2 hour, depending on oven). Let them sit until cool and firm and cut into bars.

    I find they keep me full until lunch at, least, sometimes until well past when I usually eat lunch. Plus, they taste AMAZING.

  5. I love lowfat cottage cheese and sliced strawberries for breakfast. It is my choice all summer long.

  6. Coincidently… I was at the martha stewart show today! That kitchen set is to “drool over and then die” for…

  7. I recommend Gap Body for underthings. And I eat sugary cereal for breakfast, so I’m no help there.

  8. Breakfast smoothies: Blend milk, yoghurt, fruit of your choice, perhaps a bit of honey and wheatgerm or flax meal. For more protein and more keep-you-full power, add silken tofu (the end result doesn’t taste like tofu – promise) or replace the yoghurt with the tofu.
    Yoghurt with sliced banana and a bit of honey and cinnamon is also delicious.

  9. For the bras, I would highly reccomend checking Ebay. I am able to get Lane Bryant bras for quite a bit less than the store price, as well as Champion sports bras. As long as you know for sure what size you need – that’s the way I’d go.

    Btw – I’ve been reading your blog for a couple months now and have really enjoyed your writing style. Your little one is super adorable!

  10. Ok, I’ve only ever ever found one breakfast that fills me up, ever. I agree with you that that whole oatmeal thing is a crazy myth. And people that can have a smoothie for breakfast? That’s it? I guess my appetite is huge! Only one thing fills me up: pancakes. I know it sounds crazy, but you can make it high fiber and mostly whole grain and stick some protein powder (soy? whey?) in there, and voilà! Not-bad-for-you high fiber honest to goodness filling breakfast. I sometimes go all day (until late lunch/early dinner) on just pancakes. Try that!

  11. Oh p.s. I agree with Andrea, above. Silken tofu is absolutely unnoticeable in smoothies. I have this fantastic chocolate mousse recipe that’s just chocolate and silken tofu, pretty much- let me know if you want me to email it to you! You could sneak some peppermint extract in there, and it’s a lower-fat, lower-sugar, higher-fiber thin mint in mousse form!

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