I have to wake up tomorrow and do something that I really really really really don’t want to do, something I’ve been putting off doing for sixteen years.  I am so incredibly nervous about it that I am not really certain how on earth I’m going to be able to sleep and I might have to google “tips for not throwing up on people you are trying to impress.”

Will let you know how it goes.

Meanwhile we are packing packing packing and trying to figure out how to buy a refrigerator when we don’t even know when we can move into the stupid house and we are trying to convince the mortgage dictator people to give us the money to buy the stupid house on the one day in Mr. E’s life when he will technically be unemployed and we are trying to figure out how to fit all our stuff in the stupid house that’s even smaller than the stupid house we live in now and how to furnish and decorate the stupid house using nothing more than our good looks and charm and I can’t help but notice that I am not losing any weight eating a steady diet of Skor bars and starbursts and Eli just never ever ever ever ever stops going but meanwhile he will NOT walk and I can’t help but feel like I have become someone I hate, this manic ball of stress that cries at the drop of a hat, and I hate my hair and I am nothing but a stressed out cliche of lameness and it makes me dislike myself even more and I just think to myself over and over “god, I so wouldn’t want to be married to me, how on earth did we get here, dear god let this get better soon”.

Le sigh.

I always think to myself “how bad can moving really be, it will be an adventure” and then we move and it’s always so effing terrible.

I spent my three day weekend in the aisles of Home Depot. What did you do?

PS Wish me luck with terrible thing, I will update regarding success or failure tomorrow noonish.  I am going to get through it by thinking of it as excellent blog fodder, which you can tell I need, boring rantishness about Home Depot not withstanding.


11 Responses

  1. Good Luck with thing that you don’t want to do! I hope it turns out to be so fantastic that you wonder why you have not done said thing in many years.

  2. I can sympathize entirely with you. We are in the midst of house sale/house purchase and the stress of paperwork and lawyers making mistakes and having to get x form to x person within x amount of time before leaving for a weekend where we will have no phone access, therefore necessitating that everything is written up just so… agh.

    Even this shall pass away!

  3. Good luck with the unpleasant thing. Can’t wait to hear about it.

    And yeah, it will get better soon. Before the move is always awful.

  4. Good luck. You’ll be great, I’m sure.

  5. Good luck with whatever it is that you are doing right now or will be doing very shortly! And yes, thinking of it as ________ fodder (blog, cocktail party, stories for the grandkids, Jeopardy tidbits when they ask you to talk about yourself, narration for the movie to be made about your life, etc.) is always very helpful to me!

  6. Good luck with your thing. I have “JOB INTERVIEW” in my head because that’s my least favorite thing EVER.

    A diet of Skor bars sounds perfectly reasonable to me, by the way. It might just be the perfect candy bar.

    I slept away the majority of my weekend, finished one book and started another. SNOOZE.

  7. I hope all the house stuff gets settled soon, so it can become “Our First House” instead of the “stupid house.”

    Your hair looks great; I didn’t get a “mommy” vibe off of it.

    Hang in there. Moving is stressful – your entire world, your family’s world, is changing drastically. But it will settle down. It will.

    Thinking of you.

  8. P.S.

    Sorry about the driving test. If I had to parallel park for my license I’d be walking.

    Try again!

  9. So I can’t help but think of the time I took the damn test to be a Resident Hall Assistant thing in college. My mom wanted me so bad to get the gig because it was free room and board in the DORMS. I so didn’t want to do it… and well I did. And it didn’t turn out well. But that feeling? Same.

    And for my weekend? In bed, in pain with mastitis. If I had ever had this with kid one and breastfeeding. NEVER would I have tried it with kid two.I would have taken Home Depot aisle roaming any day.

  10. I can’t comment on your recent post for some reason?

    Sorry about the test. Take a break, and come back refreshed 🙂

  11. In my hometown, a lot of people wiped out on their driver’s test in the first 10 seconds. If you were assigned Lane 1, you had to turn right next to a curb and if you hit it you automatically failed. This was common enough that my driver’s ed teacher warned me about Lane 1 and said “DON’T HIT THE CURB!!” And of course, I was assigned Lane 1 for my test, so I made a really, really wide turn and did not hit the curb. I hear if you hit the barrels during parallel parking you automatically failed too. You’ll pass eventually. Just keep trying!

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