Having a Ball

So, I know you are waiting on the edge of your seats to hear about my jean shopping this weekend.

Eh, jean shopping was ok.

The good news is that it was not the soul sucking departure into the ninth gate of hell I feared it would be.  So there’s that.

I found two pairs of the same fake jeans I already have, on the clearance rack, in the same fake vanity size I already have, and they were insanely cheap – the total for both pairs TOGETHER was $24.  Which is awesome.  What is not awesome is that I am short, and that the Gap outlet had apparently just been hit by a horde of Gap wearing shorties, because there was not a pair of My Size But Ankle Length Long and Lean jeans to be had anywhere in the entire store.  I know this because I dug through every pair on that stupid jean wall, while two Gap employees who I am SO reporting had a WILDLY innapropriate conversation about how their political candidate (McCain) didn’t win, but their Proposition (Eight) did.  One of them actually said “Do I look like a liberal to you?”, with a visible sneer, and in my best dreams I turn and say “Nope! Just an asshole!” and walk away, but am nonconfrontational! So I will have to settle to writing an angry letter to their boss while envisioning that scene from the Hills where Heidi got fired last week.

(I don’t care what or who you voted for – it’s not appropriate to talk about it where you work, especially in a retail setting. I think we can all agree on that, no?)

Anyway.  So I have two pair of jeans which fit my kiester but which are too long for me.  Which is fine, one I’ll keep long to wear with boots or whatever and one I’ll hem – which is annoying because I have to actually get off said kiester and hem them, and two because once you hem them, every time you wash them you have to iron the hem down flat.  Annoying.

On the other hand, $12 dollars a pair.  So there’s that.

I think I’m going to order one more pair from American Eagle, since they have the short lengths available, and they’re on sale for like, next to nothing, and call it good.  That way if I don’t feel like ironing the Gap jeans, it’s no big deal.

Also, these jeans I bought are both a tad too small.  So that sucks.  Like, they’ll stretch out and be fine.  They are “I need to lose five pounds” too small. I didn’t want to buy up one size because seriously, if I lost five pounds, the size up would be useless to me and I’d be right back in the same boat I am now.  And because these were the only jeans on clearance and it’s not like I can’t get them over my knees, they’re just tight once they’re on.

So operation less tight $12 dollar jeans has begun.

Um, what else?

Mr. E and I spent all weekend putting up our dining room chandelier. Remember the chandelier from Anthropologie, the one I love so much?  Well, somehow the fine folks at Anthropologie weren’t moved by my attempts to barter for it using quinoa macaroni and buttons, but because I am one crafty lady, I took a hard look at that chandelier and realized that there was nothing intrisically special about the metal frame, it was pretty much just the blue drops that were selling it.  The blue cup thingees don’t do much for me anyway, so I figured I’d just buy a much much much cheaper chandelier, one with loops on it already, and then I’d buy the blue drops (you can get these on Ebay) and then voila! Blue Drop Chandelier for which I did not have to sell a kidney.

But of course the chandelier I had picked out went on sale and then went out of stock. No more, finito, done.

Although you will now note it appears to be available again, but please be assured I paid way way less for it than what they are selling it for right now, because after it went out of stock I bough the same damn thing on Ebay.  It was most likely cheaper because it had to be assembled and wired from the giant box of parts that arrived on my doorstop on Saturday morning.

It took all weekend to put this freaking thing together and wire it into our ceiling, but I must admit I love it.  There were SEVERAL heart stopping moments, including the one when we turned the power back on and flipped the light switch in the dining room and waited for things to explode or light on fire or not light up at all (the most likely scenario) and also the one after we got the damn thing hung when one of the heavy ass crystal balls broke off and slammed onto the table, and Mr. E and I both assumed the entire thing was falling down and crashing to its doom (it wasn’t).  Also, I really should have taken into account 1. my husband 2. his maturity level and 3. a ball covered chandelier, if you get what I’m saying.  But it was all totally worth it because there is no longer a giant fleur de lis themed boob looking down over my dining room. I’ll take dangling balls over french ceiling boobs any day.

I haven’t bought the blue drops yet because I love ball jokes.  Also I kind of like it as it is now.  Opinions?

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Now we’re one step closer to being finished with the dining room, except that we just keep buying brown paint samples and painting them on the wall and hating every single one.  We are very talented at hating brown paint.  Regardless, I really hope we get that figured out sometime this century because I’m trying to stick to one room at a time and I’ve got A LOT of ideas for my bedroom and that sounded horribly dirty, but what I really meant was I am totally stenciling something on the wall in there and I bought six prints of Finnish birds and if Finnish Birds and stencils aren’t fun for the whole family I don’t know what is.

On Tuesday my other two dining room chairs come in, and then I will be the proud owner of four dining room chairs that are not 1. sort of broken 2. about to collapse 3. hideous 4. from the seventies and 5. my parents old kitchen table chairs.  Mr. E and I have NEVER owned dining room chairs that weren’t supremely sucky, in the ten or so years we’ve been sitting down to dinner together.  I’ve been ordering two at a time, and I figured four was enough – if we have guests we’ll just pull in the other chairs from around the house.  Six chairs is just going to me the dining room seem smaller.  But is that crazy?  Do I need six chairs?

Also, get a load of these cabinet handles that I made MYSELF (to replace the metal ones that came with the cabinet).  I rule.



9 Responses

  1. I swoon in your chandeleir’s general direction. LOVE IT!

    I had the same problem choosing a paint color… I think mine was finding something that complemented the wood floors without being too brown. Because of the warm tone of your floors I’d lean towards something with more of a warm brown instead of a cool brown… meaning, something closer to the middle color on the far left.

    LOVE the handle you made for the buffet cabinet as well. Simple and classy!!!!

    Good luck!

  2. his maturity level

    Please. If Mr E is anything like my husband (and who are we kidding here, they’re both dudes) all you have to do is say the word “ball” from within a 20-foot radius and he will start with the Beavis-and-Butthead-esque chuckling while saying, “You said ‘balls.'” Also see: the words “ridiculous,” “peanuts,” “wood,” “pole,” and “chicken breast.”

    And for the record, I like the chandelier with the clear crystal balls.

    I said balls.

  3. I LOVE the chanandler bong and its balls!

    Love. I don’t think it needs the blue drops either.

  4. I love the handles on the table. They totally rock and I can not even imagine it with metal ones.

    I would leave the light fixture as – is myself. It is an easy change up in the future if you get bored with it.

    Brown paint is difficult – we finally picked one that is damn dark and looks like baby shit – yet it suits the room. Go figure.

  5. I LOVE IT. Love love love. You have such excellent taste.

  6. Those balls kick ass! I love it. Although, I have to admit that I’d constantly be wondering when karma was going to drop one on my head while eating dinner. Secure them, securely!

    The brown paint situation is tough. I finally chose one called Golden Pond (gag! Can you say swamp water?) that looks kind of like coffee mixed with chocolate milk. I love it. And it makes me crave chocolate.

  7. am so loving the chandelier…….very jealous!

  8. I don’t even think the chandelier needs anything. It’s gorgeous. Balls and all.


    And also, come help me with my house. Please and thank you.

  9. I was all cheering your jeans score, but then I got all drooly over your chandelier, which I love love love love love.

    Also, it is possible you don’t want brown paint after all. I had that happen once with a color. I looked at one (1) million (000,000) shades of light green before I realized I didn’t want light green.

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