Today

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.

Today has been one of those days.

One of those days when your child is actually for the love of all that is holy honest to god sleeping in and your cell phone rings, shockingly loud, at 7:30 am with another endless wrong number announcing the recall for a car you don’t own.

One of those days when you eat four slices of turkey pepperoni and one of the weird flavored yogurts for lunch, because that’s all that’s left in the refrigerator, and your husband insists on buying “boston cream pie” yogurt and then eats all the strawberry himself.

One of those days when you think “Eh, I can get through this day ok, this isn’t too bad” and then you realize it’s NINE THIRTY A.M.

One of those days when some about to be married couple on House Hunters simpers around a house you would give your very eyeteeth to own, making up things that are wrong with it, and you want to reach through the screen and tell them they aren’t allowed to own property, they simply suck too much.

One of those days when the only chocolate in the house is some disgusting orange jelly filled thing from Trader Joes.

One of those days when everyone on Top Chef cooked lamb and you hate lamb.

One of those days when you are about to announce on your blog that the too tight jeans fit! And then you try them on direct from the dryer and can’t get them up past your knees.

One of those days when you realize that you’re missing one essential ingredient you need for the dinner you had planned.

One of those days when you get out of the shower and your towel is gone and your bathrobe is in the washer but you can’t put it in the dryer because there’s a load in the dryer that needs to be folded but that didn’t get all the way dry.

One of those days when there aren’t any matching pairs of socks in the baby’s sock drawer and you JUST bought baby socks.

One of those days when you realize you’ll never again get to eat a real sandwich.

One of those days when the trash needs to be taken out again, and you just took the trash out, and are you the only person in the house who EVER takes the trash out?

One of those days when you go to empty the dishwasher and all the dishes are still dirty.

One of those days when you’re out of bananas and you find out one of your favorite bloggers can’t go to Blogher next year and your computer doesn’t remember any of your sign ins and you get sharpie right on the boob of your brand new long sleeved J Crew t shirt and you wake up sore and feeling black and blue when you didn’t even do anything strenous the day before unless you count watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta and eating pudding and your son staggers around the house, so tired he’s drunk on it, slamming his head into tables and chairs and crying but never ever sleeping, of course not.

Today is just one of those days.

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16 Responses

  1. I too noticed how much damn lamb everyone was making on Top Chef. Also nothing will make you stop craving apples like watching someone bleed all over a barrel of them.

    Maybe we can plan a blogging weekend for sometime next fall. We can meet somewhere for the weekend and bring the boys. AND DRINK TOGETHER!

  2. oh no! i hate those days too. and they’re the very reason that i don’t put my jeans in the dryer anymore.

  3. I was so distracted by the bloody apples and the cranky girl that can cook “more than curry” but apparently not stuff that isn’t cylindrical that I didn’t pay attention to the lamb.

  4. I’m sorry you are having such a bad day, but you did make me laugh a bit. Especially the part about “House Hunters.” I remember the first and last time I watched that show with my husband – let’s just say that he doesn’t get depressed, and one episode of that show and he began to doubt everything in our lives. That show is evil! And please, are you seriously telling me that the show has NO part in which house they get? I think not.

    As far as lamb is concerned – we have a love/hate relationship. Sometimes I love it – and sometimes the smell makes me want to barf. I haven’t figured out what causes each reaction though.

  5. Internet hugs – i know those kinds of days!

    Try some hairspray on the sharpie boob mark. I hear it takes everything out! Here’s to a productive and quickly flying by tomorrow!

  6. Today is one of those days where the baby would not stay sleeping on her own and cried to be picked up alldaylong and you couldn’t eat lunch or use the bathroom or fold the clothes or check your email. And it will be one of those nights where your husband comes home and says “I’ll hold the baby, just wait till I use the bathroom/check my email/change my clothes/get something to eat/drink some water/pick my nose/watch UFC Fight Night/leave my socks all over the floor before you give her to me.”

  7. Well BOOOOOOOOOOO to all of that.

    Hey, I haven’t ruled out Blogher yet, you know. 🙂

  8. You are in desperate need of a do-over.

  9. tomorrow is a new day 🙂

    I can totally relate to the trash one though, why does it seem like we just took it out?!

  10. It must be the alignment of the planets or something because I’ve had 2 days in a freakin row just like that. When all day it feels like you’re just 10 minutes OFF from having a nice time – you just keep missing it! Tomorrow the clock will catch up to you and all will be well.

  11. Sometimes the only thing you can do is get through it and hope tomorrow is better. Or at least that tomorrow will have new and interesting ways of making you wish you’d never gotten out of bed.

  12. I second the do-over. You need to go back to bed and start the day over.

    House Hunters cracks me up – these people knock a house off the list because a wall is ::heaven forbid:: yellow or the wood floors haven’t been recently re-finished.

    Do you get the show Property Virgins? It is primarily Canadian but it does follow the odd American couple as well. These people really piss me off since they have smaller budgets (considering I live somewhere that you can not touch a house for under $450K) like $200K and houses 5 times what I live in do not “do it for them”. Feck me first time home buyer what the hell do you want? The Taj Mahal?

  13. Hey, listen… Don’t put your jeans in the dryer! Let them hang somewhere to air dry. Then when they’re actually dry put them in the dryer for, like, five minutes on air only (not heat) and let them toss around until they’re not stiff or wrinkly anymore. The jeans won’t shrink that way (or at least the shrinkage will only be minimal), and you’ll be able to get them up past your knees when you try them on.

  14. i realized this morning that yesterday was a full moon…maybe that was the source of all the weirdness in your day.

  15. I have those kinds of days. It’ll pass, hope you feel better soon.

  16. Wow, that is an insanely bad day. I thought mine was bad with the breaking of the toilet and the failed late-night repair job of said broken toilet…

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