And by *Fun, I mean: That sucked.
So last Monday (a week ago), Mr. E, because he is a saint among men, got home from work, ate a ham sandwich, took the grocery list, and went to the big cheap far away grocery store to do the Thanksgiving grocery shopping. He got home about 9 ish, bearing bags of cranberry sauce (jellied AND whole berry) and a smallish Butterball turkey and all excited about finding gluten free chicken broth- I was sitting in the living room and he kept running in to show me things while he put them away, and I really did try to muster up as much enthusiasm as I could for the mini tube of Apricot Face Scrub he had purchased, but right about this time, I was starting to really really really not feel so good.
My “morning sickness” always gets worse as the day goes on, but this was my regular morning sickness with the dial turned up. I sort of staggered off the couch and into the bathroom and that’s when I started to throw up. And I threw up every few hours, all night long, until about 6:30 in the morning.
The first time I threw up, I figured I’d eaten something weird or I had a 24 hour virus or something – it didn’t occur to me at ALL that it had anything to do with morning sickness because when I was pregnant with Eli I hadn’t thrown up the entire time.
But meanwhile, I threw up, all night long.
When Tuesday morning rolled around, I still felt horrible, like I would probably throw up at any moment, but I wasn’t actually throwing up anymore, so instead I just laid around in bed and hoped for death. It was a really fun Tuesday.
As the day wound down, I tried to eat some applesauce, and then I threw up again.
At this point, I was sort of lost as to what to do. From everything that I’ve been led to believe, throwing up is totally normal in the first trimester of pregnancy. My sister in law threw up every morning for her entire pregnancy. And my doctor knew I was feeling sick and I’d never had a doctor act like it was a big deal – they either told me that since I was still gaining weight, I was obviously fine, or else that it was a really! great! sign! of a healthy pregnancy.
And also, here’s something you may already know about me. I am…not good with authority. I am not good at saying “No.” I am not good at making a stink, at standing up for myself, at making demands. I am a rule follower, the quiet one in the corner who often goes ignored. I don’t want to make anyone mad or stress anyone out or cause any problems or make anyone feel….god forbid, UNCOMFORTABLE. I tend to suffer in silence.
So here’s what I did. You’re gonna laugh. But I sat there, sick as hell, and I dug down deep, and I channeled A’Dell. I don’t know who among you has been lucky enough to get to know A’Dell, but I got to hang out with her at The Blathering this year, and let me tell you, the woman? She takes no shit. And there were about seven times when I talked to her or got emails from her or just watched her out of the corner of my eye – that I said to myself “Self, if you ever need someone on your side in a battle, that is the woman to have.” And so I was lying there, absolutely miserable, throwing up applesauce, and I thought “Would A’Dell take this shit? Would A’Dell lie in bed for 48 hours wanting to DIE when they make ACTUAL medicine for this? She SO would not.”
And so I channeled A’Dell and I called the night nurse at Labor and Delivery. I was pretty convinced that they were going to either tell me to 1. suck it up (pregnant women throw up! Deal with it!) or get me a prescription for something over the phone. Instead, they asked me a bunch of questions and then they told me I had to come into Labor and Delivery right the heck then.
And so we bundled up Eli and we drove to Labor and Delivery, and let me tell you, it only took a tiny little detour through the ninth gate of Hell Med Center Emergency Room to make me really really really grateful for my health insurance, for the fact that I didn’t have to sit in that emergency room, that I live two minutes from a great hospital, that I didn’t have a broken arm or the swine flu two days before Thanksgiving. That emergency room at 9 oclock at night was a sight I hope never to have to witness again, and then when we got to Labor and Delivery and it was so…quiet and peaceful and clean and empty and calm and dark…it was like ascending into heaven. I felt both horribly unworthy and profoundly grateful.
Anyway, they made me pee in a cup, and as soon as she SAW my urine, the nurse started shaking her head and beginning the process to get me hooked up to an IV. And then they asked me a million questions and took about nine blood samples and listened the heartbeat and filled me full of IV fluid and then I threw up AGAIN.
So I got a shot of Zofr@n in my IV, I ate some pears a few hours later, the babys heart rate went down, I was pronounced fine, the baby was pronounced fine, and I was sent home with some prescriptions and feeling really proud of myself for finally speaking up and saying “Um, hi, is this ok?” If you can call that speaking up for yourself.
The bad news is that I’ve been hearing about this Zofr@an for two pregnancies now and I kind of thought that the second it touched my lips I’d be instantly transported to some mountain in the Swiss Alps where I’d be running through fields of wildflowers singing “The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusic” and it doesn’t quite do that for me. But it keeps me from throwing up and I feel less like I want to die as long as I keep on top of the nausea and that’s really all you can ask for, I guess.
The other good news is that the retail price of 3o Zofr@n is $375 dollars and I paid $5, and if I was grateful for my health insurance before, now I am really really really grateful for my health insurance.
Oh, and we had another ultrasound this morning and the baby is totally 100% doing fine and also really likes to wiggle.
The other bad news is that the morning sickness kind of got Thanksgiving. I looked down at my plate of mashed potatoes on Thursday afternoon and I just felt sad. But the GOOD news is that Mr. E? IS SUCH A ROCK STAR. He stayed home from work for two days and he did every single thing that needed doing for a week and he cooked us an entire Thanksgiving dinner AND cleaned the entire thing up and he didn’t even bat an eyelash when I didn’t eat too much of it, and he’s just…he’s the best. Really, there are no words.
Anyway, let’s hope things are on the upswing. I’m very hopeful the morning sickness won’t get Christmas. And if it tries, I’m totally going to sick A’Dell on it.
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