Ok, parents. I am mega mega frustrated, and I need advice.
Pants is almost three, he’ll be three in February, and I am really really really really ready to be done changing diapers. I am DEFINITELY a one booty mom and there’s another booty on the way, and furthermore, he starts preschool in September, and he has to be potty trained for preschool.
So, we’re doing our best to get the kid potty trained, and we are failing miserably.
First of all, keep in mind, we may be dealing with the most stubborn human being ever to exist on this planet. It’s not a PROVEN theory, or anything, but he’s more stubborn than I am, and whew, that’s saying something.
So we’ve tried your standard methods – we have a little kid potty and we’ve tried the M and M bribes and the lollipop bribes, and we’ve bribed him with trips to McDonald’s and trips to Baskin Robbins and a toy piano, and he does not care. He is INTERESTED in these bribes, he won’t turn down an M and M, but he wants to poop and pee in his diaper more than he wants any of that stuff.
We can’t tell him to let us know when he has to go to the bathroom, because he WANTS to go the bathroom in his diaper. Every once in a while we can tell that he’s about to poop, and we’ll grab him, whip his diaper off, and stick him on the toilet. Those are the only times he’s ever gone in the potty, and we’ve given him mega praise and then delivered on the promised bribes and he DOES NOT CARE. The only thing this has done has been to make sure he knows that he should be sneaky about when he’s going to the bathroom in his diaper.
So, to review. He knows he CAN go in the potty, he knows we want him to go in the potty, he knows he’ll get mega treats and praise for going in the potty. He DOES NOT CARE. He wants to go in his diaper.
So, our only other option is to refuse to give him a diaper. I tried that this morning, and this means from 8:15 until 12:45, I listened to moaning, whining, top volume screeching of “I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT A DIAPER.” FOR FOUR HOURS. And we can’t go anywhere, because to even go on a walk, I’d have to put a diaper on him, and then he’ll pee or poop in it. So I’m just trapped listening to him whine at top volume and it’s really not something I can deal with for like, hours and days at a time. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS NEVER SUNNY AND I THROW UP MY HAPPY PILLS AND I CAN’T HAVE WINE.
The last hour or so of Whinefest 2010, he figured out that I’d have to put a diaper on him in order for him to take a nap, so he alternated “I WAAAAAAAANT a diaper” with “I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT to take a nap. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE CAN I TAKE A NAP?!” and finally I gave in, put a diaper on him, and put him in his crib.
So, any advice? Is he just not ready to be potty trained? Should I just flat our refuse diapers and put big boy pants on him to take a walk or go to the store or to take a nap and let him go to the bathroom in them? (Which he will do, he treats them as a diaper.) I can’t tell him he needs to be a big boy or that he has to get ready for preschool, because he doesn’t want to be a big boy, and he REALLY doesn’t like the idea of preschool. He wants to stay home with Mommy, he wants to be a baby, and he wants to poop and pee in his diaper.