Things I Learned This Weekend

Mr. E and I should just take $1000, stick it in an envelope, and label it February/March.  February/March just HATES us.

On Friday afternoon, the parking lot of Home Depot is full of old ladies, all of whom will refuse to help you jump your car.

You may think the dishwasher is fixed.  It isn’t.

When the car repair place calls and tells you that your car is fixed, and for the bargain price of 50 bucks, it isn’t fixed.

It’s not the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone in the world, but when you get a second cold the same day you’re almost over the first one, you feel a little ripped off.

Mr. E and I both have very strong opinions about the placement of gladiola bulbs.

When you have ten minutes in the Lowe’s paint department and you combine that with a whiny paint chip throwing toddler, you may end up with colors you now think of “Crest Bathroom” and “Holy Cats, that’s YELLOW.”

The World’s Smallest Bathroom is MUCH harder to paint than a nice big living room.

When people tell you that you’re nesting, they may not realize they are just talking about your regular personality.

Boxes of baby girl hand me downs are the best.

Old Navy doesn’t actually want me to wear pants.

It’s impossible to imagine cleaning a bathroom before the invention of the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.  Even still, scrubbing the tub sucks.  Especially while 26 weeks pregnant.

I have to scrub my own tub, but at least I didn’t wear a boob present dress to the Oscars.

People really love to talk about baby names, and a lot of people think we should name Lightning Bacon “Eleanor”.

Just because the internet tells you to put Vicks Vapo Rub in your ears doesn’t mean you should do it.

Heartburn comes in many different varieties, including the fun kind that feels like someone is stabbing you in the chest with an ice pick.

It doesn’t matter how many times you explain why it’s a bad idea – three year olds can’t resist squirting shampoo in their eyes.

Oxy Clean DOES remove blueberry stains from couch cushions!

Four hour naps make all the difference in the world.


5 Responses

  1. I heard that Old Navy is kind of a pervert like that.

    Also – sorry to hear that you aren’t feeling well – with the cold and the heartburn. Yuck. Hope it all passes very quickly.

  2. My assvice on the baby name is to somehow name her so that her initials are still LB (E) to stay true to her Lightning Bacon roots.

    I thought the bathroom looked good and non-crest like, sorry to hear you don’t dig it.

  3. Wasn’t that dress horrific? Ack.

  4. Four-hour nap? Ooooh, now you’re just bragging.

  5. Old Navy Maternity – ICK. Those pants never stayed up on my then-pregnant belly.

    And Eleanor? We had some friends just name their daughter Eleanor but are calling her Norah. So I’m a bit biased by saying I like that name for baby girls.

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