Help, Please!

1.  When Eli does something he’s not supposed to do, we count to five and if he doesn’t stop doing it, we put him in time out for three minutes.  This has always worked really well, although he does sometimes go in time out a shocking number of times per day.  Lately, however, he’s figured out that we reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally don’t like it if he screams and yells and cries at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS and bangs on things while he’s in time out, because if his sister is sleeping, it wakes her up.  Yesterday I had finally gotten K Dub to sleep after hours of trying and Eli wouldn’t stop being horrible so I put him in time out, where he proceeded to carry on like no body’s business and then wake up his sister.   He knows he is doing it, he doesn’t care, and it gives me the RAGE. The fiery fiery rage.  And I have no idea what to do about it, because I can’t put him in time out while he’s already in time out, and it’s our only threat/punishment/consequence.  Anyone know what to do about this?

2.  The preschool halloween party is tomorrow and he’s doesn’t want to go, but too bad, he’s going, and in a bee costume, at that.  He’s supposed to bring 24 of “something” to share.  The teacher said it could be anything from candy to pencils to gum.  Eli wants to bring bananas, but I’m not too thrilled at the idea of carting 24 bananas and a 4 year old dressed as a bee and a 4 month old into preschool.   Is there something really cool I should bring, or should I just buy 24 fun sized starburts and be done with it? I don’t want to bring cookies or cupcakes because my kid can’t eat those (gluten allergy) and I can’t make gluten free stuff because our gluten free flour has nuts in it and a kid in the class has a nut allergy.  Is it lame to bring pencils? I don’t want my kid to be the one passing out the crappy stuff, obvs.  Which is why I am totally overthinking this.

3.  Anybody know anywhere to buy super cheap feather boas?  The ones at the Oriental Trading Co. are 9.99, which is more than I want to spend.

4.  Maggie and I decorated the Blathering Friday night dinner in our heads last night on IM, and now I am wondering what else I can stuff in my suitcase that is silvery/glittery/feathery/cheap/light/takes up little space.  Ooooh, spray painted acorns maybe?

5.  I thought I had more questions but apparently I do not.  Oh, yes, here is one: K Dub hasn’t pooped in 24 hours and is obviously miserable, farty, and crabby.  Any tips? I might just have to breakdown and give her a bath.  I’m kind of terrified of what happens when she finally, uh, un binds.



23 Responses

  1. 1. I’m so sorry to hear that. We’re kind of dealing with that (but don’t have a baby in the house) and the only advice we’ve been given is to IGNORE HIM completely. Yeah. Right.

    2. Stickers – sparkly ones. My preschooler LOVES getting stickers.

    3. Party supply store?

    4. I forget how old KDub is… tiny bit of juice?

  2. 1. oh god. been there. it’s too obvious to suggest a different consequence, right? taking away something he likes? the only thing I know about this is W could totally tell he was giving me the fiery rage and that’s what motivated him. No clue how to stop it.

    2. Pencils are fine! seriously, anything. Kids love it all. I’m in favor of anything non-edible but also use-up-able. Pencils and stickers work. Bonus for glow-in-the-dark anything. oh, glow sticks! if you can find them cheap…dollar store?

    3. craft store, like Michaels’ maybe? or Amazon. join that Prime thing ASAP.

  3. 1.) If you get any good advice, let me know. I’m having the same kind of problem. My 3 year old is really crazy about his sister, so sometimes it’s enough for me to tell him that Sissy will be really sad if he wakes her up. But sometimes he doesn’t care and keeps crying. Ugh.

    2. I have no real help on this one either. I hate problems like this, I feel so much pressure to make sure my kid isn’t embarrassed, but also not wanting to spend a crap-ton of money and what if the other parents think my idea is stupid and OMG I get totally freaked out.

    3. I don’t know when you need it, but wait until Monday, and I bet the costume stores will have them really cheap.

    4. I got nothin’.

    5. For this one I actually have some constructive advice!!! We were having pooping problems with my daughter around the 4 month mark. I started giving her half a capsule of Culterelle (a probiotic) in a tablespoon of plain applesauce once or twice a day and WOW. Totally different baby. No more gas or constipation or diaherra.

    Good luck!

  4. 1. the only thing that got through to violet was taking away things, ie her hour of Olivia, riding her bike, trip to the library, etc. Also, we do a reward system. If she is tantrum free for the week, and does her chores (setting the table, cleaning her room) she gets five dollars to spend an whatever she wants. This also involves us not buying her treats or prizes or toys for no reason, which was hard for us to stop.

    2. you are overthinking. the kids won’t remember who brought what. also,

  5. I completely sympathize with your fiery rage – timeouts don’t work well for us, either, but I haven’t figured out any other good options. I just end up yelling a lot, which, … ugh.

    For the party favor, I suggest fake tattoos. My son (just turned 4) and his daycare/preschool classmates go nuts for them.

    I don’t have much on your other 3 questions, but will say that I used to give my daughter half an ounce to an ounce of water anytime she had gone longer than a few days without pooping (which she did frequently).

  6. jeez, carli pre-posted that for me.

    cont. kids love candy. and I kind of love the banana idea. and eli will love that he thought of it.

    3. hobby lobby/michaels?

    4. um…i am blank.

    5. APPLE JUICE. just be prepared for a full diaper. Also, blueberry juice…but it is a bit stronger, so i go for that if the apple doesn’t work. last resort is a tablespoon of caro syrup in a bottle of water. don’t know why it works, but it does.

  7. 1) Can you move time out to a different spot? Our new thing is “Nose to the door”, because he used to do timeout in his room and that got too comfortable. He wails like nobody’s business when he’s there but it doesn’t seem to have to be done as often or as long. Also, try doing white noise when the baby’s asleep so she doesn’t wake so easily.

    3) a party or craft store will have them for cheap in an array of colors. As long as you don’t care that it’s not going to hold together for very long.

    5) Gripe water works for us right now, as well as changing his formula. For my older one I started giving him Activia for yogurt instead of regular yogurt a couple times a week, and he started being more regular (he was going between diarrhea and constipation.

  8. 1. Sounds like it’s time for a new layer of consequences. From time-out to losing privileges. So if he won’t be quiet during time-out after you’ve told him he needs to be, then he can’t do something he likes, or whatever? Or, alternatively, you can clearly explain to him what the parameters of time out are. As in, it’s not enough to sit where I tell you to, you must also be quiet while you are there, and obey my instructions, because I am in charge. Therefore if you put him in time-out and he screams and yells and bangs for three minutes, he then doesn’t get released from time-out because he hasn’t actually met the criteria for a time-out yet. So basically the longer he screams, the longer he has to stay in time-out?

    4. So, SO sad I can’t come to The Blathering!

  9. 1. No rage is quite like the rage brought on by a preschooler waking the baby with misbehavior. My only suggestion is not to yell at him by saying, “You woke the baby!” because then he’ll KNOW that’s what you don’t want him to do. It will get better. It will. I swear. But, man, when Jack used to wake Nora, I wanted to kill him. So I empathize. I do.

    2. I truly don’t think preschoolers care what kids bring. There are no cool kids or uncool kids in preschool. If he wants to bring bananas, do not let fear of what the other kids will think stop you. If it’s the bulk of the bananas, what about baby bananas? Does your grocery store have those? 24 of them wouldn’t be so difficult. Or just bring the Starburst. That’ll be fine too.

    3., 4., No idea.

    5. I second the pear juice. Or corn syrup. My pediatrician recommended corn syrup when Jack had this problem. And switch to oatmeal instead of rice cereal. Rice is binding!

  10. 2-go to big lots and buy the massive packs of mini play-doh’s and you’ll be the coolest mom, er, I mean Eli will have the coolest stuff to hand out!

    3-go to Joann’s and use your 40% off coupon, or try goodwill- the haloween mecca.

    5-totally normal for breastfed babies. my kids used to go once a week starting around 6 weeks. if you think she is uncomfortable and are worried, try diluting apple juice and water (1oz of each) and feed it to her- that’s what my ped always said.

  11. I only have advice on the last one – directly from the pediatricians mouth. Add a little Kayro light corn syrup to her bottle and shake well. Works wonders..

  12. 5. What ever happened to baby food plums? My mom used to use those.

    4. Glow sticks?

    3. Isn’t it INSANE how expensive boas are? I tried to get some for my sister’s bachelorette and opted for Mardi Gras beads instead. (Ooh! Beads for #4, too.)

    2. I wrote a post on Food Lush about this. What about Glow sticks (I’m redundant in this comment), stickers, bouncy balls (Teacher might hate you with this one), funny erasers, or those little finger puppets that look like gummy monsters?

    1. What about using a white noise machine for the baby (and iPod for you)? The second to worst thing ever is a screaming kid and the worst thing ever is 2 screaming kids. But him learning yelling/screaming doesn’t work will be better for you in the long run, I assume. (assvice from a single, childless, oldest of 4 kids, oldest of 12 grandkids, girl who went to Europe on babysitting money.) I don’t know how my parents did it, but I had the FEAR OF GOD in me. There was no acting out. I think it had to do with my dad being sort of scary looking (6 feet, 300+ pounds and beard) and teh sound of his feet thundering toward you… you stopped whatever you were doing. cold.

  13. 1. I start the timer over if they are being jerks in time out. I say “Oh, now I have to restart the timer! Too bad you weren’t being quiet!”

    2. We brought little fun-sized play-do for M’s birthday… found in the Halloween aisle.

    5. “Taking baby’s temperature” ah, rectally, OBVS would often help our girls let ‘er loose. My daughter would hold it for, like FIVE days. By the 5th day, I wouldn’t dare leave the house. But the thermometer trick worked. (a q–tip would work too)

  14. Can you make the time out spot be outside?

  15. Have you heard of Love & Logic? I just took a class and it has really helped me in those situations (I have a 2 1/2 year old who has no qualms about waking up my 6 month old. Totally been there). They have books for various age groups and I really recommend them.

    There’s quite a bit more to it, but one of the basic things is that you use enforceable statements. You can’t control his actions, you can only control your own, so you phrase things like, “If you’re good and quiet and don’t wake up the baby then I will have time and energy to ___ {make you a fun snack, play a game with you, etc.}. If he misbehaves/wakes up her then you say, “This is so sad. I was really looking forward to doing that thing, but it looks like you’re not ready. Maybe we can try again tomorrow.”

  16. 5- Ben went 9 days recently and the ped said to use a rectal therm (w/ k-y ) just put it in and give it a little gentle swirl- should stimulate her bowel. I’m sort of a freak about giving a baby anything that’s not my milk at this age but there are always the suggestions of juice or water. Good luck!-

  17. I’d do stickers or the Starbursts. Or maybe is there some kind of banana SHAPED candy that is gluten free?

    I have two feather boas. Would you like me to bring them? They’re super cheap in the French Quarter, which is where I purchased both of mine, many, many moons ago.

    The Eli waking up Katherine thing cracks me up because then HE has to listen to her crying also! Earth to Eli! NO-WIN SITUATION, BUD.

  18. Michaels crafts store for the boas, add a ( very small) bit of prune juice to cereal, put him in the bathroom and let him scream and I also really love the white noise machine for baby, I ditto anything for the 24- erasers, pencils,stickers, cheapo sunglasses from the dollar store (they sell packets of 6)! good Luck!

  19. A bit of apple or pear juice. Our ped recommended pear for our baby. Worked very well. The “dose” was 1 ounce (alone or mixed with milk) to be repeated after an hour if needed but no more than 2 ounces. Take it from me. WOW. Once the gates opened…

  20. I don’t know anything about preschool gifts or decorating but I am a nurse and I DO know about poop. I didn’t read all the comments so I don’t know if this was mentioned already. A lot of times babies aren’t constipated but still just not able to flex their stomach muscles & relax their sphincter at the same time. So basically, they’re pushing with their tummies & also clamping their poophole shut. That’s just never going to work. Soooo…the easiest thing to do is just take her temperature rectally. The thermometer being there will relax the muscles & allow poopage. If that doesn’t work, then you can move on to a glycerin suppository. Just buy the children’s ones & then cut it in half for an infant. More than likely she will poop it out immediately after it’s inserted. That’s all the suggestions I can think of for pooping for a five-month-old.

  21. Do you have a Savers near you? Ours are pretty inexpensive — the feather boas, that is — and I think they’re less than $5 there? It’s a ganky Goodwill-type place, but the boas are new, I think. And their kids’ books are 69 cents, which is awesome.

  22. Personally, I think pencils or stickers are fine. But it you want to make a splash, the dollar aisle at Target has tubes of glow-in-the-dark bracelets. I think that they are maybe 10 to a pack. You can also buy one of those little helium tanks at Target and fill up 24 balloons. I did this last year for my daughter’s birthday at school, as I was on bedrest at the time and was not in the mood for baking. They were a big hit. You can show up to school a few minutes early and do this with Eli’s teacher, I bet. And Eli could be the helper, by holding the ribbons.

  23. A little late to the party here, but I love the bananas idea! Also, I’m thinking the dollar store should have boas, no?

    And another thing, please don’t have any fun at The Blathering on account of the fact that I can’t go. K thx!

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