It’s too early to start with New Year’s Resolutions, I know! But I’m just so excited that this year I don’t have to put “Get my drivers license” on there that I can’t wait to get a list going, I guess.
My main goal for this year is to try to have more fun. If I want to wear purple argyle knee socks to the grocery store, then by gum I am going to do it! I used to be so much more fun! I really did! I once wore full body plaid multi colored plaid J Crew pajamas to school, and it was fun. I rocked it! And then I became someone who was afraid to wear a purple t shirt instead of a navy t shirt just in case someone might think I was weird or dorky or trying too hard and dammit, I am sick of worrying about all that. Life will not end if you wear something crazy and someone thinks you are weird, for goodness sake.
I also want to try to cook food that I think is exciting and fun. I don’t feel proud or happy or accomplished when I microwave frozen lasagna, I just don’t. The things I make don’t have to be fancy, but I want them to be things that move me or thrill me. I want to get excited about what’s coming out of my kitchen again, and I want to feel like one of the gang when I read books about food or watch No Reservations or Top Chef, instead of like a poser.
I want to keep on trying to lose weight, even though it is going very slowly and it seems sort of pointless. It isn’t really. I did something weird to my knee, so I have to take a little break and ice the crap out of it, but really, I am a better person when I am running regularly.
I am going to try so hard to stick to a budget this year. Last year we failed at this completely. Time and time again. I thought Mint was going to be the magic answer and I tried to use it for a few months but it kept losing transactions, and it was very very frustrating when this would happen. If it’s not accurate, it’s useless. So it’s back to the spreadsheet. The key isn’t never spending money, I have realized, it’s just keeping track of it when we do spend money.
And lastly. I’ve been waiting for 15 years for the plot of a book to magically come to me in a dream. (Damn you Stephenie Meyer!). I’ve come to the realization that this dream book is never going to happen, but that’s ok. This is the year I am going to make it happen anyway. I am going to write a book. Even if I have to sit down in front of the computer every night and stare at a blank screen for three hours until something makes its way onto the page, it doesn’t matter. I am going to do it. I WILL I WILL I WILL.
The thing is this. This year when I finally got my driver’s license, I did something that’s been terrifying me for YEARS. Decades. I did one of MY very hardest things. It absolutely scared me to death and I did it anyway, and do you know what that means? Well, it means that I can do anything. And I’m gonna.
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