I just got back from the mall. Therefore, I have to rant for a bit, even though I realize that this topic is about as fresh as a stand up comic routine about airplane food.
First of all, does anyone else think that Gap Kids is suffering from a really really overly high opinion of themselves? Am I the only one who thinks it seems really really overpriced these days? They have some cute dresses, and such, but most of the final sale stuff was at a price that needed to be halved before I’d even think about it. I’m not paying you $19 for boys shorts when I can find cuter ones six stores down for $9 dollars at Crazy 8. (There were a lot of numbers in that last sentence.) And the rest of the stuff is just your average t shirt/legging/tank top shenanigans, which I can get at Target for $4 dollars. In general I am CHEAP AS ALL GET OUT when it comes to most kids clothes, although occasionally I do buy a few really expensive things, but when I see the words “final sale” on a dress I do not expect it to be marked at $17 dollars. Final sale my ass.
Seriously, though, the prices were better at Janie and Jack, and they’re so nice there! And they have lots of smocking.
Also, why in god’s names do these kids stores have so much crap packed into them? I am there shopping for my kids, so chances are I am going to be conveying them in an enormous stroller, just like all the other parents in the store, and yet there’s so much crap packed into Gymboree that I can’t even get a stroller through the door. It makes no sense whatsoever.
Also, Macy’s was just sad. What’s up with the dirty department store vibe lately? It really makes me never want to return there again. Target is clean and has $5 leggings. If it wasn’t for those damned smocked First Impressions dresses I’d never set foot in Macy’s again. Take note, Target. Time to smock something.
Last time we went to the mall I ended up with Orange Dream Machine in my hair. Although I am not going to go into specifics, I will just add: MY HAIR. This time I came prepared and I brought an empty bottle! Because nothing says “committed to the fight against childhood obesity” like siphoning smoothie into your 13 months old (BPA FREE!) bottle at 10:05 in the morning. My preparations were in vain, however, because of course after all that the damn child wouldn’t even drink it.
I was a little concerned that the mall (which I HATE in case you didn’t know that) was going to be full of hordes of back to school shoppers, but it was essentially empty, except for giant packs of roaming teenage girls, and you guys? Those teenage girls FREAKED me out. They were ALL THE SAME. Not sort of the same, EXACTLY THE SAME. Every single one of them had the same hair (long, straight, worn down), the same shoes (sneakers), the same shorts (khaki, SHORT AS HELL NO CHILD OF MINE WOULD EVER BE ALLOWED OUT OF THE HOUSE IN THOSE SHORTS). There was a literal stream of these girls, like robots or clones or something. I think one of them may have dared to be a few inches shorter than the others, and one of them had…prepare yourself – BROWN HAIR – but other than that? The same. Skinny, blond, tall, long hair, short shorts.
Needless to say, I spent the drive home with manic thoughts of all girls schools and uniforms and violin lessons and math workbooks circling through my head.
Also, if you are in the mood for a self esteem booster, I recommend you not take your dumpy hair and your dumpy shoes and your dumpy shorts and your giant stroller and your ill behaved children to an enclosed area filled with tall blond long haired teenage girls. Wouldn’t be my first piece of advice.
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