The Four Tubs

So my mother was just here.  It was actually a really nice visit.  I think everyone had a very nice time.

Pretty much the only thing she did that annoyed me was to accuse me of being a picky eater over and over and over again, and it just annoyed the ever living crap out of me.  Mostly because good lord, I am not a picky eater.  I’m just really not.

It might be important to know that my mother once ate lamb brains OUT OF A LAMBS’ SKULL, so I don’t know how I come across compared to her, but hot damn, I know people who won’t even touch raw chicken.  I could write a novel called “Things People I Know Don’t Like To Eat” and it would be 7,000 pages long.

I’m not sure I handle any criticism particularly well but when I feel it’s unjustified? I REALLY don’t handle it well.

Regardless, in the face of this situation, I was frustrated with my choices, which seemed to be 1. angrily argue my case while everyone thinks to themselves about what a hot tempered brat I am or 2. sit there with a smile on my face and suffer in silence while I am accused over and over and over again of something I am not.

It never occurred to me that I could also:

1. lie (am I going to have to go down to the police station and be hooked up to a machine to prove that I don’t actually like blue cheese? Doubtful)

2. agree with the ridiculous statement, happily, and say “I know! I hate everything!” and move on.

So instead of either one of those perfectly acceptable solutions I settled for feeling (sort of) superior because at least the fact that I know so many people who dislike so many foods must prove something about my tolerance for my fellow man and about my willingness to be friends with all sorts of people, even those who don’t eat bacon.

Anyway. At one point my mother merrily asked me “Well! Is there ANYTHING you like to eat?!” after I requested no anchovies on my pizza, and rather than burst forth with arguments about my neighbor who won’t eat shrimp and my mother in law who hates mushrooms and cheesecake and my best friend who doesn’t like watermelon, I just said “Yes! I love all vegetables.  In the entire farmer’s market there’s not one thing I don’t love.”

And that’s when I realized something.

Holy shit!  I AM kind of a picky eater! I don’t like a lot of weird cheeses and gamey meat and I hate blue cheese and I’m not a big fan of lamb. Weird sauces and fish and strange pork bits have never really been my bag. BUT! I also have a gift, because I really do love all vegetables. I really do. I love raw turnips and brussel sprouts and cooked carrots and tomatoes warm from the vine and I would like to fit into a smaller pants size sooner rather than later and this love of veggies? When you want to lose weight?  It is a gift.  A tremendous gift.

And so I went out and bought 4 plastic tupperware tubs, and my goal for the year is to keep all four of them in the refrigerator, filled with veggies, at all times.  Because honest to god celery is one of my favorite foods but it’s not doing me or the size of my kiester much good rotting in the bottom of the crisper drawer.

And that is the story of me, the picky eater, and my four tubs of veggies. I’ll just be over here with my celery. Hold the blue cheese, please.

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13 Responses

  1. I never FEEL like a picky eater, until I go somewhere with my friend Kathleen who eats ALL THE FOODS, and then I realize that my list of “no thank you” foods is longer than I realize. No olives or blue cheese. No seafood in my mexican, and possibly not in my italian either, unless it’s just shrimp on top of pasta–that’s ok. No squid or sushi. No water chestnuts or baby corn. No sprouts. No tofu.

    BUT! I like a lot of food! I can almost always find something to eat no matter where we go! Which makes me not picky. Because, for Pete’s sake, I have a friend who doesn’t eat cake! NO CAKE! seriously…

  2. To eat good food, it is very key for me to make them visible. Chris keeps putting things in the crisper drawer, where I don’t see them and then they rot and I eat cookies, which is so not the point.

    Also, you live in California so I’d bet there are great vegetable avail year-round. SIIIIIIGH.

  3. Good for you! Unfortunately for me, I like all the really, really bad foods (bacon is definitely one of them… I’ve considered making a bacon cake at some point).

  4. I AM a picky eater, primarily when it comes to textures, but the thing is, I love SO MUCH FOOD. So I get frustrated when people say, “Is there ANYTHING you’ll eat?” Because yes, yes there is. In fact, I will eat a TON of things! I have a varied palate! But because I don’t like tomatoes or veal I still get that question all the time.

    Anyway, I am trying to SYMPATHIZE here, not make this all about me. I think it is not cool to comment on other people’s eating habits, with few exceptions, and ARGH I am irritated at your mother.

    But I am very pleased for you and your tubs. (And I agree with the blue cheese thing. Ew.)

  5. My grandmother used to make similar comments to me (which is funny, because she lives on foods from a box and I eat mostly veggies and sushi and tofu and things that she would never touch). Finally one day I said something along the lines of “yes, there are things that I don’t like to eat. Isn’t that the great thing about being an adult? You know what you like and don’t like!”

    I like your veggie plan- sounds healthy and delicious!

  6. I wonder how many pounds of celery I have purchased in my life with the best of intentions, then proceeded to let rot in the fridge drawer. It would probably be a really depressing number.

  7. Awww mothers, they just tell it like it is, don’t they? I feel like mothers as they age, get even less of a filter!

    I am a fairly picky eater, but as I get older I am liking more and more. I think the reason I got away with being a picky eater, is because my mom is one too! I probably get on her nerves because I’m always calling her a picky eater!

  8. Andrew’s mom repeatedly tells the tale of how much she loved one of his childhood friends because “the kid would eat ANYTHING.” I turn my nose up at blue cheese (MOLD!) and tomatoes and it drives her insane. Sigh.

  9. I’m not a picky eater, but I am unfortunately picky about vegetables. I don’t turn up my nose if it’s mixed in or the only option – I’ll eat it – but I don’t always like it. I wish I loved them…

  10. Raw. . . turnips? I will have to try that. But I’m a little afraid.

  11. My mom is so non-judgemental (or maybe just used to) my certain picky things that even though I’m 29 she still dishes a bowl of clam chowder for me before she puts the clams in. (Yes, it’s essentially just potato soup at that point, but I really don’t like the texture of clams.)

    Also, I was a really, REALLY picky eater for a long time and I’ve relaxed a lot, but I remember disliking many things so I try not to judge the things other people are picky about.

  12. I like to think of myself as a discerning eater rather than picky. Pretty much the same thing but I like the idea of it better. And @Linnea above, I am completely opposed to baby corn. It’s just so terribly unappetizing to me. I gave a little shudder right now just thinking of it.

  13. I love all vegetables too! In fact, I honestly love all food. One of the biggest bummers about being veg is being PERCEIVED as picky. I can’t wait until science perfects vat-grown meat, so I can go back to blue cheese and chopped liver and sashimi with abandon…

    Hmmmm. I just realized this comment makes me seem crazy. Oh well, please still be my friend!

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