Every year when I come home from The Blathering, I have a very clear feeling about what I want to say. Usually it’s a lot of hoo ha about my friends and how great they are, or a bunch of inside jokes that no one else really cares about. Mostly I just hyperventilate that it’s really great that people actually like me, because if you grow up like I do you spend a lot of time feeling like having these friends of mine, well, it kind 0f feels like a miracle to be me, sometimes, in that moment. The force of this love is a grand force in my life. Sometimes I like to talk about it. A lot.
But you know, I’ve said all that before, and I just wasn’t sure how many times that hash could be hashed. Or rehashed, or whatever.
Because I do adore these women, I adore them with every fiber of my being. I think sometimes they saved my life. I know they made it better than I ever thought possible. I know that they pray for me and it works, and I know that every time I hugged one of them or clinked glasses with one of them or sat next to one of them on the bus, I was always thinking “Thank you. Thank you. Thank for being my friend, becoming my friend, coming to my party, having a good time, for being you, for being in my life, for listening to me, for showing up, for driving my ass all over the state of Louisiana. I love you. Thank you.”
But I have said all that before, and now there’s 60 people and even though before I go to the Blathering I always think “I am going to make YOU my best friend and YOU my other best friend and I hope YOU don’t think it’s weird when I pet your hair because I’m a gonna!” the reality is that by the time I get done decorating and by the time I am done squeeing over seeing people I saw last year or the year before, I don’t get nearly enough time to force everyone else new to be my best friend. And this year is no different, there are a lot of people I genuinely didn’t get to spend enough time with, I really didn’t. I feel like I made new connections with many amazing people and for that I am grateful, but it just wasn’t enough time. There’s never enough time.
That hit me hard this year. It hit me hard, how much more I wanted to be able to sit down with each and every one of you and talk about old times, and how little time there was for that. How fast everything whooshed by. And I wasn’t sure how great “I LOVE MY FRIENDS SQUEEE BUT I DIDN’T GET TO SAY MORE THAN FIVE WORDS TO SO MANY PEOPLE AND I AM DEPRESSED” was really going to come across in a blog post. Poorly, I thought.
But then I got in the car to take Eli to Kindergarten this morning, and Erik had left the new Taylor Swift CD playing in my car, and when she sang “Wednesday night, in a cafe, I watched it begin again” I got chills. Actual real chills. Because that gift I got four years ago? Those best friends I made? Those people who make me hold my breath every year until I see them waiting at the airport gate? Everyone that came to the Blathering for the first time or the second time this year, all those people I didn’t get to say more than five words to? Those people were meeting their four years from now crazy about them best people. Those people were meeting people to scootch next to them and to hold them while they cry, to laugh with them so hard they fall on the ground, to hold their new babies and to IM them rants about their children, and I watched it begin again that Friday night, and I could not be more thrilled. I could not be more happy. I could not be more proud.
There’s this certain blog thing that really irked the shit out of me when it began a few years ago. I didn’t want to go, but I thought it was extremely icky how it was invitation only and you apparently had to be some really hot shit to get an invitation. I thought that was gross. I am not sure if you know this but the Blathering? We don’t make money. We don’t do it for the twitter followers. It is a metric ton of work, and we do it because we love it. We do it for fun. We do it for you. And we always always always always say “Everyone is invited” and everyone IS invited, because you know what? This life is short, and I believe that we get one shot. And when my one shot is up, I don’t want to be remembered for leaving people out. I don’t want to be remembered for getting someone with a million page views to my event. I understand why people want that, but I just don’t, I really don’t. I’d like to make the world more beautiful, not more icky.
When I was a little girl, one of my favorite books was “Miss Rumphius”. We read it over and over again, and now I read it to my kids, and whenever I hear the last line, whenever I hear “You must do something to make the world more beautiful”, I always wondered what my thing would be. What I would do to make the world more beautiful. I never knew.
And then this morning, I knew. It just hit me, all of a sudden. This is it, you guys. This Blathering is the year I got my More Beautiful.
I know people think it’s strange or they don’t get it or they think we’re porn bloggers or whatever but I swear to god you guys as I stood in that bed and breakfast Friday night in a sea of glitter and smiling faces and I watched this thing we created come to life once more it was one of the greatest moments of my life. I will treasure it always. Isn’t it amazing this thing we did? I really truly think it. I think it’s just so amazing.
Because I always knew I needed to do something to make the world more beautiful, and now it’s done. I did it. We did it. You did it. And it wasn’t the glitter and it wasn’t the champagne and it wasn’t any of that, it was that best friends were forming all around us, it was love just coming to life in a sea of faces, and although the glitter did not hurt, it’s really the best people beginning all over again that just beams something beautiful out into this world.
And I could not be more proud.
Filed under: Uncategorized |