I thought things were on some kind of linear upswing with the Paxil withdrawal but last night was as bad at it’s been right back in the beginning. Apparently this is very common, some people have these bad waves for as long as 17 months or a year. But it’s extremely discouraging. I have been up all night sick, so I just wanted to say I am not sure when I’ll be back around here.  Please say a prayer if you are the praying type. I know I will get through this but I am so discouraged right now. I feel like this is ruining my life.


Books I Read in February

Good news, Shalini! Things were downright dismal in the book department this month. I am back to hating everything. I know you’ll be pleased.

11. The Dawn Patrol. More Don Winslow.

12. The Fallback Plan. I bit hard for some article tweeted by Penguin about books you should read if you like Girls. I believe this was one of those titles. I did not care for it.

13. Diary of a Mad Housewife. You know, I get that everyone has problems, but I can’t really feel that bad for your housewifely travails when you have someone who comes in just to do your laundry.  Seriously. If the giant pile of laundry from your vacation is that oppressive? THROW IN THE MOTHER GRABBING WASHING MACHINE YOURSELF. Geez.

14. How Literature Saved my Life. I am sure this book is a stunning intellectual achievement, but I am just too old and too tired to read things that I find this dull.

15. The Dud Avocado.  See number 14.

16. The Raven Boys. Ok, now, here’s the thing. I liked the first book in this author’s Wolves series ok, and then I kept reading the series because I have this problem where I can’t stop reading books in a series if I ever liked one, and then I thought The Scorpio Races was uneven.  Some parts of it I really liked but some parts were just SO SUPER WEIRD. So this explains why I haven’t gotten around to reading The Raven Boys until now but OH MY GOD I LOVED IT SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much. It’s totally cheesy fantasy YAF and it has ghosts and these fake made up fantasy things and I JUST FREAKING LOVED IT SO MUCH. It is everything I love most about YAF. I stayed up till 1:00 AM reading it, I could not stop.  It’s my favorite thing I’ve read in a very long time.  And there’s a sequel coming out in September!  Man, did I love this book. I might buy it just so I can read it again.  I honestly don’t know why I haven’t heard one million raving comments coming out of the internet about this book, so maybe it’s just that my taste is just SO BAD or something, but this book just scratched that itch, man, it really did.

17. Saturday Night Widows. I just didn’t care.

18. The Gentleman’s Hour. This is when I finally tired of Don Winslow.

19. Love and Other Perishable Items.  You know, this was fine. It wasn’t terrible, it entertained me for the two days I read it.

20. The Love Song of Jonny Valentine.  It turns out that what 11 year olds have going on isn’t terribly interesting, even if they are pop stars.

21. Detroit.  At some point I just didn’t see the point.  Things in Detroit are awful. AND? I need something more there.

22. The Next Best Thing.  This was one of those books I wanted to like but the description of the supposed object of affection so turned me off that I couldn’t handle it.  I get that he has a lot of money, but once you describe someone’s hobbit toes to me, I can’t go back from that.

23. The Song of Achilles.  If Petroclus and Achilles liked boys, and those boys were each other. Yawn.

24. Three Times Lucky.  So I still don’t really like middle grade fiction, but this was the best version of it that I’ve read in a long long time.  This was just wonderful. If I have to read middle grade fiction I want it to be this.  Fantastic.

25. How should a person be. Not super boring, for a start.

26. Out of the Easy. You know, I actually liked Between Shades of Gray, but I got halfway through this book and I just did not care. The best thing about this book was the slightly melted green skittle I found stuck to the front of it. Thank you, whichever one of my children left me that delightful gift.

27. Love Is A Canoe. You know, maybe I am lame and a super dud or whatever, but I just can’t with these books that want to tell me all about how great someone’s marriage was and how sad so and so was when his wife died and oh by the way we cheated on each other every four minutes.  Yeah, no.  Yes, Marriage IS just like a canoe. The more you climb in and out of it, the more likely it is that it’s going to sink.


This is one of my favorite days of the year.



This year we are starting 12 kinds of tomatoes, mostly scienced down to our favorites:

The Cosmonot Volkov, Supersweet 100, a yellow pear, the Cherokee Purple, Black Prince, Brandywine, a Green Cherokee (new for this year!), Glacier, Beefsteak, Paul Robeson, Big Rainbow (also new, I think it’s orange), and Generic Yellow as purchased at Home Depot because no one around here had yellow tomato seeds and I don’t have time to order them.

The other trays are full of flowers…I have high hopes for my flower borders this year! I am starting Nasturtiums, Dianthus, Zinnias, Coreopsis, Rudbekia, Love Lies Bleeding, Sweet Alyssum, Bee Balm, Salvia, Larkspur, Gaillardia, and Blue Vervain.

If it works I have LOTS of flowers I am excited to start next year, but this year I am forcing myself to use the seeds I had lying around (I  know).


What I Wore This Week: My Party Pants


{Target Cardigan, Gap Tee, Old Navy Scarf, AE Hi Rise Super Skinny Jeans, Bandolino Boots}

I wore this specifically because I had to go to Eli’s birthday party and we held it at a little kid gym type place, and I didn’t think skirt + foam pit was an experiment I wanted to conduct.

In other news, let me just tell you having a party that wasn’t at my house? WORTH EVERY PENNY. Seriously. Last year I ordered invitations from Etsy and drew dinosaur feet on the sidewalk and cooked for two days and cleaned my house till it squeaked and bought a custom ice cream cake and before during and after, I WAS SO VERY TIRED. This year I bought fill in invitations from Target, made a phone call, picked up a cake from Costco, and plunked down my credit card. BEST IDEA EVER.

In other other news, Eli turned six.  I didn’t write about it. I am sort of ashamed to admit it actually has nothing to do with the fact that I am worried he won’t like this blog some day or because I don’t want his classmates to google him or because I am respecting his privacy as he gets older or whatever, but it’s actually because I um, think talking about my children is super duper mega boring. WAAAAAY less interesting than talking about myself, obviously.

In other other other news, is there a better deal than the Target patterned cardigans? They go on sale for $15 all the time, and they always have cute patterns and they’re comfy and I love them.


{Gap Tee (in Petite), Old Navy Tee, Old Navy Crops, Sperry Top Siders, Scarf was made by MOI}

I am so excited that I can finally wear these pants! I love them. They’re so comfy and they go in a bit at the ankle, I don’t know, in person they are very flattering.

I bought the striped tee I am wearing underneath from Old Navy pre Old Navy Ban. It’s full of holes and all pilly, so now I can only wear it under things. BOO. (Although I do love their tees if you are JUST going to wear them under things because they are so thin that they work perfectly for that.)

My mother in law was visiting, we made scarves!  Fun fun fun. I loved that I could make this exactly how I wanted it. The ones I buy never seem long enough.


{Jones New York Tee (from Marshalls), Ebay necklace, AE Hi Rise Super Skinnies, Bandolino Boots}

In person, this tee felt a little short (it’s a petite) but in pictures it looks perfect and really flattering (that darker band hits at the perfect spot) so I just need to get over it. I might try wearing it with a skirt and see if I feel better about it.  I should have looked at Marshalls for dressy long sleeved tees all along, apparently. They had quite the boat load.

I never really felt like I got this necklace, and then I saw someone else wearing it long, and I realized that it has to be worn at the longest setting.


{Gap Ponte Knit dress, Target scarf, Target striped sweater tights, Frye boots}

I loved these tights on Shalini and they were on sale! Too bad they are THE TIGHTS OF EVIL.  They are so non stretchy and they are TINY, so I don’t know. I kept having to yank them up, I only made it half way through the day wearing them, and they don’t come in a bigger size. Boo.


{Banana Republic Sweater Thing, Target tee, Handmade Scarf, Loft skirt, Old Navy Leggings, Anne Klein boots}

This is the same short cropped sweater thing that BFF bought at the thrift store, I bought mine on Ebay. It’s super cozy.  I have always scorned short-sleeved sweaters, thinking that if it’s hot enough to wear short sleeves, you aren’t going to want to wear a sweater, and if it’s cold enough for a sweater you’re going to want to wear long sleeves. However, this was before I realized that a short sleeved cardigan is really just a jacket.  A comfy jacket that isn’t going to make it hard to move your arms.  SOLD.

This outfit was one of those ones that is cuter in person than in pictures. I am  not so sure that aqua is my color. Might try again with red and a different skirt. The skirt is really flattering though.  The 12P at the Loft fits me PERFECTLY, especially if it’s from the “super curvy” line. Recommend.

I don’t want to tell you how long I had to look to find a pleated black skirt.  I can only assume this means that they are tremendously unfashionable.


{Gap sweater, Handmade Scarf, Old Navy Tee, Anthropologie skirt (thrifted), Old Navy leggings, Frye boots}

Nothing says “professional fashion blogger you should send free purses to” like posing next to a giant trash bag.

I had just about given up on thrifting because it felt like all the clothes I was getting rid of that weren’t quite right were things I had thrifted, but my MIL loves thrifting so we went, and I slightly revised my stance. Although I think in general, it’s probably better to take your $40 and buy yourself something PERFECT, thrifting can work if you 1. try everything on (which I never used to do) and 2. are really really picky and only buy things that are great.  Regardless I got this Deletta skirt (sold at Anthro) for $2.99, and it feels just like I’m wearing pajamas, so I really can’t argue with that.  I think it’s a bit limited for winter, but I can see it with about 12 different t shirts in the summer. Love!

I also really really like this Gap sweater so much. I want to buy the v  neck too.

Ten Things I Will Always Click On/Read/Watch on Lifetime

1. Anything telling me how lottery winners are miserable and how winning the lottery ruins your life.

2. Any person’s obscure medical problem that was was misdiagnosed for years and which I will immediately become convinced I have.

3. Anything about Tom Cruise and or Scientology.

4. Anything that is about cake in any way.

5. Anything that involves cooking one food inside another food. Bonus points for ridiculousness.

6. Anything about budget fashion or budget decorating, even though both types of article inevitable include $1700 sweaters or couches reupholstered in fabric that’s $900 a yard.

7. Birth stories. Bonus points for twins. Super double bonus points for twins switched at birth.

8. Anything about psychology which implies that all humans are just unimaginative creatures of habit following the same behavior patterns that all other dopey humans have followed for thousands of years.

9. Anything written by, for, or about Girls, with bonus points if it’s talking about the clothes.

10. Anything about prep school/boarding school/wasps on the East Coast/the Kennedys.

You? Or any suggestions for me? I could use a good movie about Kennedy Triplets switched at birth right about now.


What I Wore This Week: My New Black and White Scarf, All The Time

This week was better. I forget sometimes what a big difference it makes when I don’t feel good.  Last week, I think, was a Paxil Withdrawal Re-occurrence, and although it’s improving and lessening by a lot each time it comes back, it’s still REALLY hard to get motivated to put on a pair of tights when you just don’t feel good.  I’m so happy that my uniform means that even when I don’t feel good and I am just throwing something on I still look nice, but it’s not always fashion blog worthy feeling. Not that I think I’m all that but some weeks just feel more interesting and successful than others and I think it’s easy to forget (at least for me) how much of that I can attribute to not feeling 100%. My heart just wasn’t in it.

Anyway. I am back, baby! This week I had fun. And isn’t that really what it’s all about? Yes, it is.


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{Lands End dress that I am reluctant to link to because it gets pilly, Ebay scarf, Anthro jacket (from Kate), Old Navy Leggings, Bandolino Boots}


{Gap Cowl Neck, AE Cami, AE Hi Rise Skinny Jeans, Sam Edelman Driving Mocs}


{J. Crew Sweater, Marshall’s Polo (I think it’s Ralph Lauren but does it really matter?), AE Hi Rise Super Skinnies, Frye Campus Boots}

I saved the purple sweater! Thank you for all your excellent suggestions on that post. Three things I should have mentioned – I do not, under any circumstances, wear purple and yellow (RIP CITY BABY!), I have some kind of weird sensory thing where I can’t wear crunchy button shirts mashed to my body under sweaters, and I didn’t really want to buy a bunch more things that aren’t in the uniform.  No throwing good money after bad, basically.

Anyway, I wore a polo shirt under it and it was SUCH a good weekend outfit. I do have a lot more ideas that I didn’t get to, but for a first pass, I feel like this was very successful and the sweater is saved!

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{Target scarf, Gap blazer, Target cardigan, Old Navy tee, Gap skirt, Target tights, Anne Klein Boots}

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE.  I couldn’t decide scarf or no scarf, but I think I liked with the scarf best, looking at the pictures. It took the edge off the Catholic School Girls Rule vibe. This was cute Before Blazer, but After Blazer it went into Super Cuteness. I highly recommend building up your stock of blazers.  They’re not necessarily something you can wear in high summer or freezing winter, but they last forever, they aren’t going to go out of fashion, and anytime you can pile them on an outfit, they really bring it.


{Target scarf, Gap jacket, Etsy pin, J. Crew sweater, Gap tee, AE High Rise Super Skinnys, Anne Klein Boots}

I love it when I buy something new and then I wear it all the time! To me that says I was filling a legitimate hole in my closet and I wasn’t totally ridiculous when I thought I needed a black and white scarf.

This was Valentine’s Day. If you can’t wear a giant red felt flower on your jacket on Valentine’s Day, when can you?



{Eddie Bauer Cardigan, Loft tee, Target scarf, Garnet Hill Skirt, Prison Wedges by Toms}

I like to have at least three ways I can wear most things in my closet so I’ve been looking for other ideas for this skirt besides black and white.  Pinterest came to my rescue here, there’s a lot of gray and orange. And it’s super cute in person. As well all know, this skirt is very kicky, and also  it’s supposed to be 70 degrees here today, so I gots to have the layers.

What I Ate This Week: Apparently I’m Having Some Kind of Weird Seafood Craving

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Stuffed Cabbage, Mashed Potatoes (the kind that come frozen in a bag from Trader Joe’s), and salad.

So every once in awhile I get the weirdest craving for a food that I would never normally eat. Does that happen to you? Anyway, once every three years, I HAVE to eat stuffed cabbage. It’s very odd, but I just go with it.

(I used tomato sauce instead of tomato soup in this recipe because I’m not a fan of cooking with canned soup. I know it makes no sense to use mashed potatoes from a bag and turn up my nose at canned soup, but a woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets, ok? Just go with it.)

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Steak, Spinach Salad with Maple Vinaigrette, and Sourdough

I didn’t really like this steak. It was the first time that Costco steak has let me down.  The good news is that the salad was the straight up bomb and I didn’t even need to eat the steak. Erik’s dressing was the business.


Steak (a good one this time), Twice Baked Potatoes, Salad.

I have been making twice baked potatoes for years and I have never found a recipe I LOVED until this one. These are the fatteningest, but damn are they good.


Strawberry season! And Trader Joe’s Cinnamon Swirl bread and eggs.


Sesame Tuna Salad. I liked the salad but I found the tuna grisly. It was sort of icky, honestly, so I might have to stick with Costco tuna.


Fettucine with Clam Sauce.  This is such an easy dinner when you don’t really know what to make –  I try to always have clams on hand because you can always make this or Clam Chowder pretty much with stuff you usually have lying around the house, although no one loves this dinner as much as I do, I just don’t think you can really go wrong with butter+garlic+clams+lemon. YUM.


Shrimp Caesar Salad.  This is so easy. Just chop up some lettuce, thaw some precooked shrimp, throw on some croutons (I like the Trader Joe’s ones), toss with some caesar dressing, and throw some grated parm on top.  This also makes an excellent fancy lunch for company, I have found.  Plus I grew this lettuce myself, which means my Smug Points are extra high for this dinner.

We also had these Salad Tacos, from the Pioneer Woman, and they were SO FRICKING GOOD. Seriously, I am never going back to ordinary tacos. Thumbs up from everyone, including Eli who told me how much he loved them, and Erik, who could not stop eating them. Seriously, I want to eat them again RIGHT NOW.