We are driving to Kindergarten, someone cuts me off, as happens MANY times a day along this particular stretch of road.
I say “Eli, the next time I buy a car, instead of one with a horn, I want one that has a button that I can push that makes a giant sign that says “WAIT YOUR TURN” come popping up out of the roof!”
A long pause.
Eli says “Um, Mom? I’m not sure you understand how…cars work.”
We are taking a bath. Eli is telling me about all the ponies from My Little Pony and what their powers are. I ask him what his powers are, and he says “Awesomeness, the sun, and super fastness.”
“Cool!” I say. “What are my powers?”
Eli replies, without skipping a beat. “Oldness. Your power is oldness.”
Eli says to me “This weekend dad and I are going to do something VERY COOL.”
“Oh, really”, I say. “What’s that?”
“We…are going. to get….:A CORD FOR THE VCR…” and then he pauses, takes a breath, nods his head, and just adds, all drawn out and slow. “Radio Shack”.
I also need to remember that Katie, despite her father’s best attempts, has the worst taste in music of anyone I’ve ever known besides myself. The only songs she will listen to are Alicia Keys “Girl on Fire”, which she calls “FIYAH!”, Bruno Mars “Locked out of Heaven” which I believe is super appropriate for a two year old and which she calls “Oooo Song”, and Justin Bieber’s “Beauty and the Beat”, which she calls “Body Rock”. We have these three songs on a playlist that just repeats ad nauseam If she hears any other song, she huffily states “This song is TERRIBLE” and demands “Body Rock”. She told the man at toddler story hour that “You Are My Sunshine” was a terrible song. If she does hear something she deigns to listen to, she’ll scream “TURN IT UP” at you immediately, and you’re not allowed to turn it down even one click of the radio until the song is over.
Also, she can’t pronounce her “l”s, which means she says “yegs” instead of “legs”. Every time I get her out of her car seat, she tells me that when she’s sitting in it, she can’t put her “yegs” up in the air. I will never tire of this.
Yegs. It gets me every time.
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