Bullet Points

1. So the withdrawal is back, it’s just as terrible as it was in the first two weeks, I seriously cannot believe this is happening, and my husband just left for his brother’s destination wedding in the Dominican Republic for five days.  I have unbelievable neighbors and friends and a BFF who gets the BFF of the Year Award and is coming tonight to take my kids home with her for four days.  I keep bursting into tears and I seriously cannot believe this is still happening, its six months later and this morning I had one of my worst mornings yet.

2. So I am throwing in the towel and going back to the doctor (tomorrow morning) to ask him to put me on something else, (probably Prozac) which is what he wanted to do to begin with. I am no longer afraid of being on an SSRI or of gaining weight, I just want this nightmare to end.  I am, however, terrified that the Prozac won’t work or it will give me weird side effects, so please feel free to tell me how much you loved Prozac or how it helped you with your anti depressant withdrawal symptoms. I am desperate over here, and I can’t google anymore, because it’s really not reassuring.

3. This is a nightmare. An absolute nightmare.  Something about the fact that I cannot even take care of my own kids is hitting me HARD.  Please cross your fingers with everything you have that this new plan works. I simply cannot do this anymore.  Katie knows the sentence “Mama has a headache.” The first thing Eli asks when my neighbor picks him up is “Does my mom feel better?” OHHHHH awful. That feels AWFUL.

4. I don’t even know what to put here. I’ve been up since 5 AM having white knuckle anxiety and nausea?  And it lasted for four hours? And I’ll probably have to do it again tomorrow morning and I can’t even think about that right now? I am worn out done with this.

5. I just want my life back. I just want to have joy in the things in I love again. I just want to eat a bagel! I am just so done with this.  I mean literally, it’s all back. Loss of appetite, nausea, panic attacks, anxiety, lightheadness, confusion, headache, dizziness, diarrhea.  I haven’t eaten in 24 hours.  And it’s been SIX months.  I feel like I’m losing my damn mind.

6. Mostly I’m just posting this so everyone can please tell me how wonderful Prozac was/is, and if they experienced anything like this and if it helped.

7. I do have a doctor’s appt with my favorite doctor in the world on Thursday morning. I am confident he will help me. I just have to make it 24 more hours.

8. Thank you for listening to my endless complaining about this.

9. I am trying to have hope.

10. It’s going to be ok. It’s going to be ok. It’s going to be ok.

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44 Responses

  1. I LOVE Prozac! I didn’t realize I was suffering from anxiety until my doctor switched me from Zoloft to Prozac for depression a few years ago, and I suddenly wasn’t worried about everything all the time and bracing myself for all sorts of DOOM! I really, REALLY hope this works for you!!!

  2. First, I am so sorry that you are going through this. This whole thing is simply awful. Have you tried Wellbutrin? It isn’t a SSRI and has worked wonders with many people I know, love and trust.

  3. It will be okay.

    xox

  4. Prozac is awesome. I have been on and off it since about 2004. I went off it in 2006, went down to a lower dose and then stopped completely for a few years and never had any withdrawals. I have been back on it for probably 3-4 years and I now know I’m just better on it. I also don’t have any crazy side effects on it. I think the only one is lack of a sex drive and let’s be honest, I’m single with two cats. That really isn’t hurting my social life that much. 🙂

    Also, when I first went on anti-depressants back in 2004, my biggest concern was side effects, ESPECIALLY weight gain. I had just lost a ton of weight and while my life was spiraling out of control, I freaked out about gaining weight because I couldn’t handle losing control over one more thing. I had the best doctor who was like “well, that is my job, to find you one with the least amount of side effects.” And that was Prozac.

    Sorry to hijack the comments!

  5. It will be okay. It will because you have people that love you and support you and will ensure that you make it out on the other end. You’re never alone.

  6. I am just so sorry. That is all. And SO glad you have people there to help you with your kids. It has to end sometime, right? IT WILL END. IT HAS TO.

  7. I am just so flipping pissed for you that this is happening! Not fair!

    I am on Prozac and while I can’t speak to its use as a stepdown, I will say I’ve been very happy with it and have had no noticeable side effects. I sure hope your doc has the right touch and some good ideas.

  8. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I hope the Prozac is exactly what you need!

  9. I’m so sorry! I don’t have any Prozac stories, but I will keep all my fingers crossed for you. It will get better! Hang in there, and don’t be too hard on yourself.

  10. Fingers crossed that the new plan is helpful. I will throw in a prayer too.

  11. I love you. This WILL end.

  12. It’s going to be OK. It will it will it will.

  13. Oh you poor girl. I am so glad you have wonderful friends and family to help you right now. I hope, hope, hope that Prozac is the answer. Hang in there!

  14. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Almost every parent goes through a time when they can’t be there for their kids like they want, either because of illness or injury or distance, and I think it’s much harder on the parents than it is on the children. Keep hanging on, knowing that it WILL get better, and I’ll be praying for you to have the strength to get through every minute, one by one.

  15. I don’t know about Prozac, but I’ll be praying for you. I’m sorry this is happening. It’s going to be okay, and I’m hoping for SOON. xo

  16. Prozac is awesome. In fact, the reason I was prescribed it was that my depression was situational (after my brother died unexpectedly and I was in the middle of law school finals) and the doctor noted that it was the anti-depressant that was easiest to go on and off – there were no side effects and I stopped using it when my heart had healed with NO problems. Good luck honey!! If you need anything that one can do from afar, just ask.

    Also, as an aside – my mom had debilitating migraines when I was your kids’ ages – she was constantly sidelined with issues and keeping the house dark and there were many other areas she felt she failed me…but I don’t remember it that way at all. I felt awful for her when she was sick, but I remember my childhood as very happy and my mother as very loving. I think your kids’ memories will be kinder to you than you are being to yourself. Just take care of yourself and the rest will follow. Much love!!!

  17. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It will get better. It will be ok. Love to you.

  18. Oh, Elizabeth, this SUCKS. Ugh, I am so so sorry. Hope the Prozac works, and fast.

  19. Oh, Elizabeth. I’m just so sorry that this is happening to you. I don’t have any personal experience with Prozac or other antidepressants, but I will be praying like heck that this is the thing that helps you. There are so many people who love you and are in your corner.

  20. I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I just want them to fix you so you can feel better and have fun with your family again.

  21. Oh, Elizabeth. I am so sorry. I am still baffled and frustrated and angry that this sort of thing can even HAPPEN. Why the hell do pharmaceutical companies not have more oversight? Or why don’t doctors look at the research? Come ON, ‘Merica.

    I’m so thankful you have people to help, but I’m hoping and praying that tomorrow really is the start of a new chapter for you. xo

  22. I’m so glad you have help with your kids while your husband is gone! Just take care of yourself, sleep when you can, think happy thoughts, eat chocolate…whatever will get you through each minute is ok.

    I was on Prozac awhile back and had no problems getting off of it when I needed to change to something else. (It stopped working for me, which isn’t at all unusual for me, so don’t take that as a point to worry about. I’ve changed meds A LOT but that’s just me.) I know I told you this already but there really are so many choices and combinations of drugs these days that something WILL work for you, I just know it. And the fact that your doctor listens to you and is concerned for you is a huge help. I wonder if taking the Prozac AND something else might help you? That’s the only thing that’s ever worked for me is to attack the depression from two angles (sorry, I don’t know all the technical names for the types of drugs).

    I’ve gone through withdrawals before from Effexor (EVIL EVIL EVIL) and it was bad but NOTHING like what you’re going through so I’m sending love and strength and good thoughts your way every day. Ok, I know I’ve told you all this stuff before but maybe hearing again that there is hope will help, even if just a little bit. xoxo

  23. It will get better. You are determined to make it better and you are surrounded by people who want to help. It will get better. Hang in there and good luck with your appointment.

  24. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.

  25. I’m sorry it’s back. I keep trying to think of something more to say, something that might lift you up, but that’s all I can really express. I hope your doctor comes up with a plan and that things change ASAP. It WILL get better.

  26. Praying for peace of mind for you, Elizabeth. For relief from your physical symptoms and relief from any guilt you are feeling about your children and your need for help.

    It is hard to accept help from others but I’m sure you would do the same for your friends and loved ones. Pay it forward when you are feeling better. You will feel better.

  27. Oh, man. I can’t say anything about Prozac, but I am sending all my prayers, thoughts and good vibes and wishing so hard you didn’t have to go through this.

  28. I’ve been on Prozac. Good stuff. Works for me. And I’ve never had any of the side effects, FWIW. No weight gain or anything.

    I’ve also gone off of it with no problems.

    I hope there’s something out there that will help, because you sound so miserable. I’m sorry .

  29. I am just so sorry you’re going through this and you’ve had to suffer for SO LONG. I have no helpful information, but I will be praying that Prozac is the right answer. It really is going to be okay, but in the meantime I will be lifting you up with thoughts and prayers.

  30. I had no trouble going on or off Prozac so I hope it will be the same for you. It was like a protective cocoon for better or worse. Good luck and this withdrawal thing is total crap and I’m so sorry.

  31. Oh girl. I am so, so sorry to hear this. I wish we were neighbors and that there was more I could do for you. I am so glad you’ve found a doctor you trust and that he will help you find a solution that brings you immediate relief. Love you dearly. This is just so awful.

  32. I am so sorry this is happening for so long. I wish there was something I could do for you. Fingers crossed that the Prozac works immediately with no side effects.

  33. You are not alone! Withdrawal is terrible and they don’t prepare you for how awful it is and how long it can last. It will get better. The Prozac will help and you will feel better. I know it.

  34. I’m so sorry this is happening. There should not be a drug on the market that does this to people. I hope you doctor can help you and it works quickly.

  35. It is going to be OK. It is.

  36. I don’t have a reply to post that’s new or interesting or helpful, but I just want to say I’m sorry, and you are more loved than you know. Hang tough. Praying it will get better soon.

  37. Yes to the Prozac, it is much easier to go off. Still do the step down but way easier. Also do a blood panel, you could have something else going on. I know this sounds crazy but if you have any thyroid issues, email me. I just spent two months experiencing crazy withdrawal symptoms and it was the thyroid meds.

  38. Oh, Sweet E. What the shit? I am so sorry. I do not have experience of my own to share Prozac except via my daughter. Prozac has made her life livable! Truly! In fact, we just had to increase her dose a month or so ago and my husband and I keep talking about how happy she is since the increase. She takes it, but it has been our whole family’s miracle drug. Love to you!!

  39. Oh I am so sorry you are still dealing with this and that it is so crippling. I hope Thursday’s appointment brings a plan and a change.

  40. I’m so so sorry you’re going through this again!!! Yuck!!!!
    You’re doing EVERYTHING RIGHT. You’ve made your doctor’s appointment, you’ve taken care of the kids, you’re taking care of yourself. You are amazing. Don’t let those mean old chemicals get to you.

  41. So sorry you’re going through this. Sending all my best wishes that the doctor is able to help you today.

  42. Hey, I don’t know if anyone mentioned this because you have a shitload of comments & I have no extra time to read them all & clearly, not the biggest of your concerns right now…..but as an NP I can tell you that Prozac is supposed to be a weigh-neutral SSRI & the pharm company that makes it at one point sought FDA approval for it as a weight loss drug as well. So….one less thing for you to worry about, I just hope you get better!

  43. I’ve no advice but many hugs – we’re all here rooting for you.

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