1. So the withdrawal is back, it’s just as terrible as it was in the first two weeks, I seriously cannot believe this is happening, and my husband just left for his brother’s destination wedding in the Dominican Republic for five days. I have unbelievable neighbors and friends and a BFF who gets the BFF of the Year Award and is coming tonight to take my kids home with her for four days. I keep bursting into tears and I seriously cannot believe this is still happening, its six months later and this morning I had one of my worst mornings yet.
2. So I am throwing in the towel and going back to the doctor (tomorrow morning) to ask him to put me on something else, (probably Prozac) which is what he wanted to do to begin with. I am no longer afraid of being on an SSRI or of gaining weight, I just want this nightmare to end. I am, however, terrified that the Prozac won’t work or it will give me weird side effects, so please feel free to tell me how much you loved Prozac or how it helped you with your anti depressant withdrawal symptoms. I am desperate over here, and I can’t google anymore, because it’s really not reassuring.
3. This is a nightmare. An absolute nightmare. Something about the fact that I cannot even take care of my own kids is hitting me HARD. Please cross your fingers with everything you have that this new plan works. I simply cannot do this anymore. Katie knows the sentence “Mama has a headache.” The first thing Eli asks when my neighbor picks him up is “Does my mom feel better?” OHHHHH awful. That feels AWFUL.
4. I don’t even know what to put here. I’ve been up since 5 AM having white knuckle anxiety and nausea? And it lasted for four hours? And I’ll probably have to do it again tomorrow morning and I can’t even think about that right now? I am worn out done with this.
5. I just want my life back. I just want to have joy in the things in I love again. I just want to eat a bagel! I am just so done with this. I mean literally, it’s all back. Loss of appetite, nausea, panic attacks, anxiety, lightheadness, confusion, headache, dizziness, diarrhea. I haven’t eaten in 24 hours. And it’s been SIX months. I feel like I’m losing my damn mind.
6. Mostly I’m just posting this so everyone can please tell me how wonderful Prozac was/is, and if they experienced anything like this and if it helped.
7. I do have a doctor’s appt with my favorite doctor in the world on Thursday morning. I am confident he will help me. I just have to make it 24 more hours.
8. Thank you for listening to my endless complaining about this.
9. I am trying to have hope.
10. It’s going to be ok. It’s going to be ok. It’s going to be ok.
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