What I Wore This Week: I AM IN NO MOOD FOR THIS

So for those of you playing along at home, I am trying to fix whatever Paxil withdrawal/Serotonin Discontinuation Syndrome/Possible Raging Anxiety Disorder Created By All This by 1. temporarily taking Xanax as needed and 2. verrrrrrry slowly building up to a very small dose of Prozac.  Right now I’m taking 1MG of liquid Prozac and I have had a low grade headache off and on for three weeks now, and then this morning I woke up with an involuntary facial spasm – my right eyelid won’t stop twitching.  Something about yet another weird side effect/the feeling of loss of control/the constant unknowns and uncertainty has just sent me over the edge. I feel very panicky and freak outy all over again.

I have emailed my doctor but this is very stressful and un fun and just all around sucks.  I just wish desperately to not feel sick, to not have to deal with shitty side effects, to not be at 50% all the time, to not wonder how I’m going to wake up feeling the next day, to not have to be so on the edge all the time. I feel so fragile and so totally done with all this and I just want it my normal  happy non sick life back.  This is for sucks.

Anyway, that’s what’s happening with that.  I’m trying to focus on other things and to just breathe. Just keep swimming, as they say.

I do have some good days! Mornings are better.  And the headaches are getting better! I am just…tired of being so – halfway.  And the unpredictability just screws with  my mind.

Yesterday was a good day! I thought things were on the upward swing.  And then I woke up with this eye thing and all my big plans for cute dresses seemed really unimportant and I just didn’t care.  But that’s why earlier in the week I am all tarted up in dresses.  I guess I should take this as a sign that things are improving.  They were really bad, they are improving, but not always upward in the same forward direction, I guess.

Here’s what I wore this week.

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{Gap Ribbed Tanks, AE Artist Crops, Havaianas, Garage Sale necklace via my MIL}

I really loved this outfit. Especially once I added that crazy wooden necklace.

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{Lands’s End Fit and Flare Patterned Dress, Havaianas}

I was a little worried this dress would run towards “mom frumpy” but Erik approved it. I like it – it’s very flattering and comfortable although it does make my books look huge.  Also, these dresses run so huge. This is a size small and it still felt too big in the arms. I have no idea what a person would order who actually wears a size small.

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{Anthropologie skirt, Anthropologie Jacket, Marshalls T Shirt, Kork Ease wedges}

I think this would have been cute with a necklace, looking back it.  Anyway, I love this skirt.  Every time I wear it I think I should buy nothing but Anthropologie skirts for the rest of my life.

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{Gap jacket, Gap Dress, Kate Spade Necklace but via Ebay so you know probably fake as shit, J. Crew wedges}

I could not love this dress more. It’s so great. Also, jackets. You need some. Get some.  They’re the best.

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{Macy’s Maxi Dress (in Petite it doesn’t drag on the ground), Gap Outlet Sweater, Sam and Libby for Target shoes}

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{J. Crew Factory Bermuda Shorts, Havaianas, AE Polo Shirt}

This is my “Seriously? I am done with this shit.” face.

Sorry no links, it’s not a good day. If you desperately need something let me know and I’ll let you know where it can be procured.

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20 Responses

  1. I love how you rock the orange.

  2. Hope things turn around soon. I know it must be really hard to feel like this with little kids running around. As usual, I love your outfits. Especially the Gap dress and the lands end dress. The Anthropologie skirt looks awesome on you!

  3. I don’t even understand Lands End sizing. It’s vanity sizing gone batshit crazy.

  4. I love your outfits generally and think you look great in everything, but that Fit and Flare dress in particular looks like it was MADE for you! Vavoom!

    I really hope you are feeling 100% soon. What an ordeal.

  5. Thank you for reminding me about Lands End dresses! I’m going to a wedding in a few weeks and feeling the need for something new. Time to go shopping!

  6. That fit and flare dress is AMAZING. I mean, you look awesome in all the clothes, as usual, but that one is my favorite this week. SO CUTE. Lands End owes you royalties because everything I have bought from them is because of you.

    I am so sorry you are still dealing with this Paxil quicksand B.S. Thinking of you and hoping that the forward/upward progress continues to escalate.

  7. 1. UGH. I am so sorry this is such never ending awfulness. Hoping & praying that this is finally over for good SOON.

    2. You are seriously making me rethink my anti-Bermuda short stance.

  8. Sorry you feel yucky but you look great! I love your dresses and skirts this week.

  9. You may feel crappy, but you LOOK FABULOUS!!! And now I want that fit and flare dress badly and that necklace. And all the things. 😉

  10. Also… I’m keeping you in my prayers all the time. You will get through this!!! Stupid paxil.

  11. What I have learned in the last few weeks from you is that I need to get to Gap and buy a stack of bright tank tops to wear under black ones. This is happening.

  12. Hope you’re doing better soon. I know how hard it is to live at 50% (or at any % less than 100, for that matter.) Here’s some hugs to get you through. Not to mention you look pretty fabulous in all these pictures, when I barely get out of my PJs.

  13. I am so hoping you get real relief SOON. I am truly sorry for all you are having to endure.

    As a pick me up for you: I have been reading your archives. You have inspired me to get rid of ill fitting, cheap, pilly, never worn clothes from my own wardrobe. At the cost of about 60% of my closet’s contents. I also made a nice list of what to replace and purchase. THANK YOU! For real. I have been wanting to do SOMETHING for a while, but I didn’t know how to begin.

  14. Hope you feel better soon. The eye twitch may be from lack of sleep. Or lack of good sleep. Let’s face it, if you have kids, there is no longer any such thing as good sleep. I speak from experience here. And FYI, I bought the J Crew Factory shorts based on your recommendation. Love them, and even though I apparently have no idea of my proper size, I am keeping them because they are so comfortable & flattering & well priced. Thank you for that.

  15. I am so sorry you’re still in the side effect carousel. Although I do second ms amy up there- the eye thing MAY be unrelated. Not that it makes it less annoying, but fwiw I wake up with random eye twitches every couple of months, usually from bad sleep, and it can last for DAYS. Drives me batty.

  16. That skirt with the stripes from Anthro looks sooo cute on you!

  17. Adding my wishes that you’ll feel better soon. I can only imagine how sick you must be of all of this!

    And you look fantastic, esp. that Lands End dress. I recently ordered it in a medium and was depressed that it was too big because I was thinking a small would not fit. But maybe I will try the small now . . .

  18. I’m sorry the Prozac wasn’t a fast fix for you. Did you hear back from your doctor? Was the facial tic a side effect of Prozac? I’ve never heard of that for that drug, but I do get those facial twitches sometimes when I’m overtired. I got them a lot during pregnancy for days at a time. (Magical!) Maybe it’s just a coincidence? I hope?
    Hope today is better and the headache is even less.

  19. LOVE the Anthro skirt. I was just there and couldn’t bear to pay Anthro prices, but now I’m going to peruse their clearance section…

  20. I LOVE that LE dress – fits you perfectly and looks amazing!!

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