What I Wore: It’s Too Hot For This Nonsense

Ugh it’s too hot for me to even be eloquent about how too hot it is. I am so done with 95 degrees. So done!

Whatever. I’m just going to wear the same four dresses until it cools down or we all drown due to the rise in global sea level, whichever is first.

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Oooh, I loved this. Come back to me, 70 something degrees.

Get yourself some gray booties, really.  And a sweatshirt moto jacket. Also you can’t really see it but I am also wearing the J. Crew Factory Claire Cardigan because I had a sudden need to get a green cardigan in my life RIGHT NOW and it’s quite useful for throwing on over things.  Although it is shortish so it may be more of an over dresses cardigan than an over jeans cardigan.

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This is SUCH a good dress.  I adore it.  I needed a dress for a wedding this summer and I finally got smart and decided I’d try to buy one that I could wear more than just one time to a wedding and then never again! I am a genius.  Anyway, this dress is magical and you can totally wedding it up or wear it to preschool drop off. I think next time I might try a belt and a gold necklace. It’s from Anthropologie, but in June, so no longer online, sadness, etc.

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This is your standard “I’m just wearing shorts and some tanks but I threw a scarf over it so now I’m a fancy lady” outfit. Shorts are the J. Crew Factory Bermudas, they’re basically the only shorts I bother with anymore.

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Here is the Claire Cardigan again.  Throw it over your pajama dress, add a tassel necklace, bingo. Done.

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I was hoping this look would convey “Please don’t show up to my ADHD Parent Support Group half an hour late and then tell everyone that ADHD is caused by dairy allergies or I will hunt you down and kill you”, but it didn’t get the job done.  And that’s all I’ll say about that, besides the fact that this dress is from Old Navy and it is EXCELLENT and you should buy one.  Oh, and here is last week’s stripey dress which I incorrectly linked to which you should also buy.  And then you should wear it with your green Claire Cardigan.

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Eli picked this scarf out.  I can only assume he’s the next Gianni Versace.  Hopefully with less murderyness though.  Also I am about to compose a STRONGLY WORDED LETTER regarding summer dresses with sleeves and the lack thereof in many retail establishments. I just have to decide if I should mail it to Michelle or Barack.  Because seriously, this is a problem.

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Despite its lady area bulls-eye flower, this dress has been well worth the $8 I paid for it at Ross.  I always get compliments on it and it’s basically fancy pajamas, so that’s a win.

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The Target cocoon cardigans and I are going to run away to Mexico together.  Also this dress (the Lands’ End Fit & Flare), it’s fine.  You have to really be careful or it’s a fast ticket to Frump City, and nobody wants to get on that train. I mean, not like that. God. Get your mind out of the gutter.  Although it’s true.  Whatever. Move on people!

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What I Wore: Back To School

My children finally went back to school! Waa hoo! This meant I was forced to wear clothes instead of just all day pajamas, and by pajamas I obviously mean my husbands mesh basketball shorts and a stretched out Old Navy tank I should have thrown out four years ago. 

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Oh look, my hair is orange! I shall file this under New Life Rule Number Two, after “Never Eat At Arby’s”, which is henceforth known as “Never let someone Groupon your hair two days before you fly across the country for a wedding especially if they use the words ‘ombre balayage’ a lot and then laugh hysterically.”

Also, I bought a gold bag, lest you think nothing of note occurred this summer. I had a Great Existential Bag Crisis after the cashier at Trader Joe’s asked me my purse was for my groceries, and immediately after this traumatizing incident I went out and bought the largest goldest tote bag I could find.  Hardly anyone asks me if it’s for groceries. 

Even better, this dress is awesome and you can still buy it. It should be noted that the dress shrinks after you wash it so if it falls onto your body while you’re at Old Navy returning something you accidentally bought after Maggie tells you yes it sort of does look like cult wear and the dress seems a little big at first, it will shrink.  Be forewarned. It is really cute though and I have received loads of compliments on it. Also I get to wear this sweater with it which is great because it’s such a specific sweater and so the few times I do really need it something make me feel infinitely less stupid for having bought it in the first place.  

 

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Amy found this dress at H&M, it’s was $6.95. However, If I’ve learned one thing from watching 44 episodes of The Vampire Diaries in a row besides the fact that vampires wear a lot of foundation, it’s that NATURE MUST HAVE BALANCE. Apparently nature doesn’t mess around since H&M refused to let me return my online order in the store and then it appears it was stolen off my porch when I tried to mail it back.  THANKS NATURE YOU OWE ME FIFTY TWO DOLLARS AND SEVENTY THREE CENTS PLUS TAX.  

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After years of cowering in terror when faced with an open cardigan, I seem to have become an unlikely devotee.  Mostly I impulse buy them from Groopdealz, but so far it’s worked out for me. I really love this one, although I suspect it may be unflattering? Too bad, don’t care.  

Also I am wearing an Everlane v neck tee, which I like. It’s not a PERFECT white tee but it’s VERY close.  I wear it with a Natori feathers bra in the color “cafe” and then it’s not see through, which is a miracle on par with some large miracle I can’t think of right now, and so that’s fantastic. Full disclosure, though, that bra makes the ladies look weird under anything under than a t shirt, don’t ask me why, but it gives me pointy boobs in a dress.

Also If you want to buy yourself an Everlane tee and you use my referral link, I would be thrilled and I would get a free t shirt, but if you hate my guts or whatever, obviously don’t do that. 

Also I bought the Anthropologie necklace I am wearing in this picture for the aforementioned wedding and then it didn’t go with my dress, so now I have to wear it all the time in order to make it seems as though a crystally flower necklace is a very useful item which one needs practically every day. I do love this whole outfit an awful lot though. 

Happy Friday! See you next week. Be safe, don’t eat at Arby’s.